


Haru’s Anatomy

by he_my_boo



Category: Haikyuu!!, 富豪刑事 Balance:UNLIMITED | Fugou Keiji: Balance:Unlimited (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Haikyuu Crossover, Inspired by Grey's Anatomy, M/M, Mutual Pining, Near Death Experiences, Porn with Feelings, bottom haru, daisuke is older than haru, top daisuke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:28:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 30,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24826813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/he_my_boo/pseuds/he_my_boo
Summary: So I have taken it upon myself to make a crossover for Grey’s Anatomy. I will be using some Haikyuu characters because there are so many different characters in Greys. Here’s the list so it doesn’t get confusing:Katou Haru: Cardio attending, age: 29Kambe Daisuke: Neurosurgery attending, age: 32 (yes Daisuke is older in this fic, and he is taller)Shinnosuke Kamei: General surgery attending, age: 30Saeki Mahoro: Peds fellow, age: 27Akaashi Keji: Plastics attending, age: 30Bokuto Kotaru: Ortho attending, age: 31Oikawa Toruu: Peds attending, age: 31Iwazumi Hajime: Trauma attending, age: 29Hinata, Kageyama, Yachi, and Tsukki are residents. Oh, and Kuroo is the Cheif of Surgery somehow. I hope you all enjoy it! :)
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kanbe Daisuke/Katou Haru
Comments: 17
Kudos: 89





	1. A new start

Chapter 1: A New Start

Haru had basically grown up in this hospital, and yet, he hated it. He hated the tiled floors, and the luminescent lights that lined the ceiling, and the smell of rubbing alcohol. He hated all of it. And most of all, he hated Kambe Daisuke. He’d slept with the guy once, and although Daisuke never brought it up, it haunted Haru.

He clutched his stethoscope, it was cold. It kept him calm. They had a new plastic surgery attending coming, Dr. Akaashi was it? He couldn’t quite remember. Kuroo had definitely mentioned it at some point, but he’d had a big surgery that day. He couldn’t quite remember much.

“Time for rounds,” Daisuke said, extending a cup of coffee to him.

“No thanks, I don’t want your charity, _Kambe_.” He said, pushing the cup away. He wanted the coffee badly, but not from him.

“Just take the coffee, Kamei got it for you anyway, but he had a surgery. You haven’t slept in 36 hours.” He said, extending the coffee once again.

“Fine. But only because it wasn’t from _you_.” He sneered, Daisuke’s voice remained placid.

“Whatever you say, Katou. Whatever you say,” he waved back as he walked away. He made Haru’s blood boil. What gave him the right to be so cocky. Just because his daddy bought the hospital didn’t give him the right to act like a dick.

“Why do you look like you wanna punch someone?” Iwazumi asked, sidling up next to him. Haru crushed the cup of coffee in his hand.

“I hate him. Stupid, perfect Dr. Kambe Daisuke. Amazing neurosurgeon, rich bastard. He probably paid his way through med school.” He muttered. “The nurses call him Dreamy Daisuke. There’s nothing dreamy about that guy.” He said.

“But he is an amazing surgeon, even if he’s a bit rude and aloof. I’m sure he meant well with that coffee.” Iwazumi continued, Haru continued to glare down the hallway where Daisuke had gone. His glare was interrupted by one of his residents.

“Um, Dr. Katou, sorry to interrupt, I’m on your service today.” Yachi said.

“Oh of course, ready to present for rounds?” He asked, the small blonde girl nodded. He followed her down the hallway quietly, he was now in his element. Surgery kept him grounded. Although he would never be as good as his father, that didn’t matter now. His father was retired, and dying of liver failure.

“This is Kumiko Mayu: age 68. She's here to have a pacemaker put in, and a valve replacement. She had to have a valve replacement last year and is for the second time-”

“Hopefully the last!” Kumiko chirped. “Isn’t that right, Dr. Katou?” Yachi gave her a confused look, “I’ve known Dr. Katou since he was an intern.

“Yes, I will do my best. Thank you for trusting me.” He said, Yachi watched as he talked her through the procedure. His patient care was unmatchable. He truely wanted to help people, both in and out of the OR.

“Dr. Hitoka,” Haru said, addressing his resident. “Would you like to assist in the surgery today?”

“Really? Thank you! I’ll go study right now!” She said, running towards the library.

“Walk.” He called after her.

“Sorry! Thank you again!” She called down the hall. He could tell off the bat that one day she would make an amazing surgeon. She was smart, and good under pressure.

“Stealing residents now~?” Daisuke purred from behind him. Haru had finished rounds, Kumiko was his last patient. She was going to be prepped for surgery soon. Haru felt the hairs on his neck prickle up.

“Leave me alone, Dr. Kambe.” He said through clenched teeth. The guy was seriously pissing him off. And he was still cranky since he never ended up drinking his coffee.

“Why do you hate me? What have I done, to deserve this?” He said, mocking him.

“Just go away, I am not in the mood to deal with you. Go fix a brain, preferably your own.” He sneered, heading towards the elevator. Daisuke followed. “Stop following me,” he growled.

“I’m not, I need to get on the elevator, to go _fix some brains_. As you put it,” He smirked.

“I’m taking the stairs,” Haru said, turning to go back down the hallway.

“Whatever, Dr. Katou. And go get some coffee, you look like a zombie.” He said, smirking. It was fun to toy with the younger man. His reactions were priceless.

“Fuck off, Kambe.” He called down the hall. Haru clenched his hand against the charts he was holding. That guy was seriously going to be the death of him one day. Why did he hate the guy so much? Because he had all the things Haru didn’t? Like family, or money, or friends...well no. Haru had more friends than Kambe.

“What did he say this time?” Kamei asked, stopping to help him carry the charts.

“Nothing out of the ordinary. At least I don’t have to deal with him that often. Only when he’s needed. He stays in neuro, and I stay in cardio. That’s all that matters.” He growled.

“You know, a lot of people think highly of him. And basically every female in the hospital falls at his feet. Unless they are too busy fawning over Toruu that is. He definitely knew what he was doing, going into Peds. I should’ve done peds. Chicks love guys that are good with kids.” Kamei muttered.

“It’s not like Oikawa even likes the chicks that fawn over him. It’s so obvious.” Haru muttered.

“Of course it’s obvious, except to Hajime that is. Poor Toruu, he truely is a good guy.” Kamei agreed. “Oh, I heard you’re letting a resident assist today. One of my residents told me she was busy studying. Good student, Hitoka-san will definitely go places.” Kamei continued.

Haru nodded an agreement. His life would be going quite smoothly, if Daisuke and his father weren’t ruining his mood daily. 

Their conversation was interrupted to his pager going off. “I have to get down to the pit, sorry. Cardiac trauma. Can you take my charts?” He asked, beginning to run. Kamei nodded. Haru made his way down the hall, Hajime followed in step as they ran down to the ER.

“What’s the trauma?”

“Cop was shot, GSW to the chest, and clavicle.” Haru yelled back. They jumped into the elevator. To Haru’s dismay, Daisuke jumped in with him. “What are you doing?” He glared.

“I was paged, possible head trauma. Same one as you two?” He asked, turning to Iwazumi. Hajime nodded, looking at the page. When the elevator hit, the three jumped out, scrambling towards the ER doors.

“Multiple GSW: chest, and clavicle! Potential head trauma in the field! Vitals were stable in the field, BP’s dropping.” The EMT said, pushing a gurney towards one of the residents. Kageyma caught it, running towards one of the trauma rooms. 

“Hang a bag of O-!” Hajime yelled.

“I need to see if there’s a tear in the cardiac tissue, suction!” Haru yelled over the panic of the interns. “Everyone, I need you to stay calm and collected. For some of you, this is your first trauma.” He said, addressing Hinata and Kageyama, who had been manning the pit.

“Ok, book an OR! Order an ultrasound, we have to check for internal bleeding.” Daisuke said, turning to the trauma nurse next to him. She nodded, running hurriedly through the ER.

“Ok everyone, once we get in there, it’s damage control first.” Hajime said, Haru and Daisuke both nodded. “We need to stop the bleeding first, but if the brain swells, Kambe takes priority-”

“But what about the cardiac tissue?” Haru said, arguing back.

“I know, but in this situation, Kambe takes priority, I’m sorry. We can get a new heart, or do a graph. But we cannot build a new brain.” Hajime said, Haru felt his mood plummet. He’d gone into cardio for the rush of adrenaline in high pressure situations. He knew Hajime hadn’t meant it to sound that way, but Haru felt as though he wasn’t as important.

“Hear that, Katou-san. _I_ take priority.” He smirked.

“Shut up,” he replied in a monotone voice. He walked away, “Iwazumi, page me _if_ you need me. I have other patients that do take priority.”

Haru made his way towards the supply closet. Once he was inside the sterile yet comforting walls, he broke down. He was a doctor, the blood didn’t bother him. But he’d seen the cop’s partner. The distraught look on the man’s face had gotten to him. It looked like his father’s face, the day his mother had died in a car accident. The look of pure despair. How the man seemed to have come to terms with the fact that he couldn’t have done anything. And yet, he blamed himself.

He heard his tears as they slowly hit the linoleum tiles beneath him. The soft plip, that he’d heard so many times before. He had hid in the supply closets since he was 8. His old habit had not left as he grew up. He put his head in his hands, pressing his back against the cool wall behind him. It’s what he had always done. It calmed his nerves.

“Fuck,” he sighed wiping his tears on the back of his hand. He stood up, the door jiggled. Had he forgotten to lock the door? The door swung open, Daisuke stood in the doorway, his dark shadow in front of him. Haru desperately wanted him to leave.

“Katou, what are you doing?” He asked, surveying him.

“Get out, Kambe.” He said, praying that his tears would stop.

“Why? It’s the supply closet, I need a new pair of scrubs.” He said, Haru turned away. He felt a tear slid down his face again. His father’s face flashed across his mind. He needed to find a place, a quiet place. He pushed past Daisuke, their shoulders brushed roughly. “Hey! Katou.” He said, reaching for the man infront of him. He caught the other man’s wrist with his hand.

“Let go.” Haru said, his voice dripping with anger. But it was weak. It wobbled a bit.

“Why were you in the supply closet?” He asked again.

“Let me go, Kambe!” He said, raising his voice. His hand began to shake, Daisuke felt it. He tore his wrist out of his superiors grasp.

“Haru.” He said calmly.

“It’s Dr. Katou to you. You don’t have the right to call me Haru.” He said, walking away.

………

“What did you do?” Kamei asked him later.

“I honestly don’t know, I just went to the supply closet to get a new pair of scrubs. And he yelled at me, then ran away.”

“Did you say the supply closet?” Kamei said, realizing Kambe’s mistake almost immediately.

“Yeah, what about it?” He asked.

“Nothing. If Haru didn’t tell you himself, then it’s not my place to say.” He said, walking away.

“What do you mean? What is so important about a supply closet?” Kamei just shook his head.

“It’s really not my place to explain.”

“Whatever, I’m sure I can figure it out on my own then.” Daisuke muttered. He watched the blonde haired man leave. What did he mean? And why was Haru crying anyway? He couldn’t bring it up of course. Haru might actually quit and move across the country if he fould out. But something was clearly wrong.


	2. Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daisuke beings to realize his feelings? Haru is a good attending surgeon but not a good listener...

Haru had slipped back into his old habits. He hated feeling inferior to Daisuke, even if the man hadn’t actually done anything wrong. He had been paged by Hajime. His hands slipped as he scrubbed in. The OR lights felt blinding. He couldn’t show weakness, in the world of surgery, he would be eaten alive. That’s what his dad had told him, one of the few things he remembered.

He felt small, standing there, his latex gloves feeling slightly too big. “Dr. Katou,” Hajime said, addressing him more formally now. “You were right, the tissues died. We need a tissue graph, are you ready?” Haru nodded quickly, taking his position on the left side of the table.

“10 blade.” He said, extending his right hand. The scalpel fit perfectly, as though it was made to be in his hands. He made a small incision, he watched as the heart contracted like normal, but the fibers that held it together began to break. He only had about an hour. That was easy. The OR faded away, it was just him and his patient, he wasn’t focused on anything else. Yes. This is where he belonged.

He finished the graph smoothly, but then things took a turn. “BP’s elevated.” One of the scrub nurses remarked. It wasn’t his fault, his graph had been perfect. Right?

“Katou, move! The brain is hemorraging, Kambe get back in there!” Hajime yelled. Haru moved instinctively. So it wasn’t his fault, it was Daisuke’s. Well that was all that really mattered to him anyway. He was not a team player when it came to Daisuke.

“I think I can get it.” Daisuke said, reopening his previously closed incision. He worked quickly and diligently, the residents watched in awe. He had a grace about him when he moved, how he held himself. Both in and out of the OR. Haru admired him for that, although he would never admit it. “Got it!” He said, holding the small clot.

“Good, now let's close.” Hajime said. Haru’s job was done. He turned to go scrub out. “Katou,” Hajime said, popping his bubble of silence. “It wasn’t your fault.” He continued, as though he had read Haru’s mind.

Haru nodded, pressing the button that opened the sliding doors to the scrub room. He scrubbed for exactly 2 minutes on each side, both hands. By the time he was almost done, Daisuke had entered. He did not want to have a one-on-one conversation with him. Not today, not after what had happened.

“Good job today, that was an excellent graph.” Daisuke remarked. A compliment? This Haru had not seen coming.

“Flattery won’t get you anywhere Kambe.” He remarked, turning to leave. “And,” he said, staring back at the man behind him. “I am a Cardiac attending. Excellency is what keeps me paying the bills.” He smiled, but it was more of a smirk.

Daiuske was left in the scrub room alone. Haru had smiled. At him. Sure it wasn’t what he had imagined, and it was not nearly as sweet as he seemed to others. But it was a smile nevertheless. He stared down at the soapy water, imagining Haru smiling. He smiled to himself. Maybe he wanted more than just Haru’s angry reactions. Maybe he wanted Haru?

………

“You wanna come drinking with, Bokuto, Iwazumi and I?” Kamei asked, clapping Haru on the back lightly.

“I guess, although I can’t drink a lot. I have a surgery tomorrow that I want to be awake for. I’m letting Yachi do almost a solo surgery. But she doesn’t know that yet.” He said. Kamei nodded.

“Just come spend some time with us, outside of the hospital.”

“Sure,” Haru said, flashing him a smile.

“I’ll text you when we’re leaving.”

“Sure, also have you met the new plastics attending?”

“Yeah, you haven’t? The guy basically has Bokuto wrapped around his finger already. Guess we know Bokuto’s type now. Both boys and girls.”

“Yeah, is the guy nice?”

“I think so, a bit quiet. But he’s a good surgeon.”

“Well that’s all that really matters.”

“Haru, surgery isn’t everything. At some point you will learn that.” Kamei said, in what could only be described as a lecturing tone.

“Yeah, yeah mom. Let’s see if that really becomes a problem.” He said, waving as he got on the elevator. He found himself alone with Daisuke. He sould’ve just taken the stairs again.

“You want to come drinking with us?” Haru grumbled.

“I thought you don’t like me?” Daisuke said, smirking.

“I don’t. But the other guys do, so I’ll put up with you.” He said, his angry edge softening.

“Okay, I’ll come.”

“Great.” Haru gritted his teeth, hoping the man would’ve said no. He stepped out of the elevator, he could almost feel the man’s stare on the back of his neck. “And stop staring at me.” He said. He heard Daisuke let out a small laugh. Whatever. He was just an inconvenience, just like everyone else. Haru had no use for personal relationships. He was almost afraid of getting close to people, but he would never admit that. Kamei had wormed his way into Haru’s life in medical school, and he didn’t mind Hajime and Bokuto. But they were about it.

“You seem deep in thought.” A smooth voice said behind him. Haru felt calm. The voice was calm. He whipped around to see a tall man, with jet black hair and piercing dark blue eyes faced him. The man was slightly taller, with a lean frame like his own. “Oh, sorry. I haven’t introduced myself. Akaashi Keji, new plastics attending.” Akaashi said, extending his hand. Haru shook it.

“Katou Haru, cardio attending.” He said.

“I know,” Akaashi replied. “Basically everyone knows you. You were one of the youngest cardiac surgeons to win the Young Investigator Award in Japan along with Takashi Yasukawa.” Haru reddened. It was weird being praised, and by another surgeon at that.

“Oh…” He mumbled, slightly flustered.“Well, Dr. Akaashi, I hope to work with you soon.”

“Yes, goodbye Dr. Katou.” The younger man said, bowing slightly. Haru liked Keji from the beginning. He was smart, and kept to himself. But he wasn’t rude the same way Daisuke was. And he truely was a phenomenal surgeon as well. He and Bokuto would make a good couple. He found himself thinking of Daisuke. He shook the thought away. There was no time for daydreaming.

He had an easy minimally invasive heart surgery. Then he would go drinking. He liked these surgeries the most. It may still be heart surgery, but there was less risk. He often found himself having fun in the OR. Teaching the residents and fellows, watching the interns amazed faces form the gallery above.

“10 blade,” he said, motioning to the scrub nurse next to him. He made a small incision on the right side of the chest, which gave him easier access to the heart between the ribs. He didn’t have to cut the breastbone, which lowered the risk of the procedure. He was performing Mrs. Kumiko’s valve replacement. It was an Aortic valve replacement, he must’ve done them 1,000 times. But each time, he found the same rush of adrenaline as the first time flooding his veins.

“Dr. Hitoka, come here,” he said, motioning towards Yachi. She stepped forward, looking prepared. “I assume you’ve done your research?”

“Yes, Dr.” She replied.

“Good, I will oversee your work. Go ahead,” he said, carefully handing her the scalpel. She slowly inserted a small camera into the chest cavity, giving them a view of the heart. “Good, continue.” Haru said, coaching her through it. They switched to manual bypass. He watched as she performed an effortless thoracoscopathy. Her hands glided through with the same grace as Daisuke’s. “Very nice, I can close.” He said. Yachi stepped back.

“You know,” he said, addressing her again. “You would make a fine cardiac surgeon, Dr. Hitoka.”

“Thank you Dr.” She said, her eyes sparkling. “Cardio is my passion.” Haru smiled, Yachi reminded him of himself. So bubbly and full of life. His first assist had also been a thoracoscopathy.

“Good. I can tell.” He said. He could tell she was smiling even from behind her mask.

……..

“Haru, you actually came!” Kamei said, motioning him to join the others at a table. Haru sauntered over, he wanted nothing more than a cold beer.

“Hey, hey, hey, Haru.” Bokuto said, “you want one?” He asked, holding a beer to him. Haru took it, flashing him a grateful smile. He popped the cap off, taking a long drink of the beer. It was cold, the bubbles burned slightly as they went down his throat.

“Thanks,” Haru said, once half the bottle was gone.

“So,” Hajime asked, “how was your surgery?”

“Great. Better than great if I’m being honest. Dr. Hitoka will become an amazing surgeon. She said she likes cardio, so no stealing~” he said, smirking over at Hajime.

“I won’t. Tsuki is already mine, he may be rude. But he’s quick. And last I checked, he hates people. Trauma is perfect for him.” Hajime said.

“Well no one likes me.” Kamei said, pouting. “They don’t like general surgery.”

“That is not true,” Haru said, “Tetsuro likes general.” He said, the others stifled their laughter.

“Oh shut up. He’s the chief of surgery. Of course he likes general surgery. He doesn’t have time for anything else.” Kamei said, taking a shot of vodka.

“Hey~look who showed up.” Haru mumbled. His tolerance was lower than before. He hadn’t really drank since… since his dad’s diagnosis. He was drunk. “Mr. Dreamy Daisuke~” he said. Daisuke sat down next to Haru. He was intrigued. He had never seen Haru drunk.

“Is he drunk already?” He asked, turning to Kamei.

“Yep. Ask him anything, he’s really honest.” He said, winking. Daisuke nodded.

“Dr. Katou, do you truely dislike me?” He asked. Haru let out a small laugh.

“Call me Haru… and no. Of course not. You are a great surgeon.”

“No, Haru. I meant, do you not like me as a person.”

“Ohhhh, no. I like you just fine. It’s just easier to not like you.” He slurred.

“And why is that?” Daisuke asked, his desire growing.

“Because if I admit that I actually like you, I’ll just lose you too.” This came as a surprise. Kamei seemed to already know. He just shook his head. Haru slumped down in his seat, and closed his eyes.

“What?” Daisuke asked, looking to Kamei for answers.

“I am not telling you, that is something Haru will say when he’s ready.”

“Fine.” So Haru liked him? And he was afraid to be close to him. But he was close to Kamei. So why was he different? Was it possible that Haru was also interested in him. No. Let’s see how this plays out, Haru. Daisuke thought. Smirking at the man asleep infront of him.


	3. Lying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Haru ever understand his own feelings, or will he remain as oblivious as ever? Daisuke hasn’t thrown his money around yet, but it’ll come naturally to him.

Haru woke up in a cold sweat, in unfamiliar clothes, in an unfamiliar room. He reached the table next to him, where his phone sat. He checked the time, 5:00 am. He was supposed to do rounds in an hour. Wherever he was didn’t matter, he had to get back to the hospital.

“Haru,” Daisuke said. Shutting the door quietly behind him. “Don’t think about running yet. We have to talk.”

“Whatever, Kambe.”

“Call me Daisuke.”

“No.”

“Well, I think we should talk. Sit back down.” He commanded. It wasn’t mean, in fact, his voice was softer than usual. Haru’s body betrayed him. He sat back down on the bed, his defying behavior ceased.

“What do you want to talk about, _Daisuke_.” He said, fidgeting with his finger. It was a habit. The finger was practically raw, he had picked at it so much. Daisuke noticed, but didn’t say anything.

“Before you go off on me, you are at my apartment. You got drunk out of your mind, and it was like 12 so I took you here. I didn’t know where you lived. Anyway, I want to talk about what you said last night, do you remember?” Haru was silent, then everything flooded back.

“Yes.” He said quietly. Daisuke sat down in the chair across from him.

“Okay. I don’t want to pry, so you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to.” Haru nodded, “Haru, last night, I asked you if you liked me. You said yes, but you didn’t want to get closer to me because you would lose me. What did you mean?” Haru fidgeted.

“Um. It’s complicated.” He said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Okay, that’s okay. You don’t need to explain. And, why were you in the supply closet yesterday?” Haru flinched slightly, he’d broken skin. His finger began to bleed slowly.

“I just feel comfortable there. I’ve been doing that since I was little.” He mumbled.

“Are you okay?” Daisuke asked, the question surprised Haru. Was he imagining it? Did Daisuke actually care about him? He shook the thought away. No. He was just desperate for love.

“I’m always _okay_.” He said, standing back up.

“That is not what I meant...Haru.” He said, raising his voice slightly.

“Well, you asked. There’s my answer. Goodbye, Dr. Rich Guy. Have fun with your perfect life,” he said, shutting the door on his way out. Daisuke sat in silence. What did Haru mean? He’d realized this before, but Haru definitely didn’t like getting close to people. Contrary to Haru’s belief, Daisuke knew about his mom and dad, and his situation. He had been receiving financial aid. And Haru was trying to do everything on his own. That’s what troubled Daisuke. One day Haru was going to need help, and when that day came, Daisuke swore he would be there.

“Drink this,” Daisuke said, holding a cup of coffee towards Haru.

“Is it from Kamei?” He asked, averting his eyes.

“If you want it to be.” Daisuke replied.

“Fine.” He said, snatching the cup away from the other man. He took a long sip, the liquid was warm down his throat. He shivered. He was cold, but the coffee warmed him up. He hated winter, but work made him feel better. “How’s the cop?” He asked, referring to their trauma patient from yesterday.

“Stable. But he hasn’t woken up yet. I would hate to be the guy’s partner. The guy looked distraught.” Daisuke said.

“Yeah. I wouldn’t know what to do if I was in his shoes.” He mumbled. He finished off the coffee, and threw it in the bin closest to him. “Anyway, thanks for the coffee. And for letting me crash at your place.” He said, walking down the hall.

“Anytime.” Daisuke tapped the earring on his right ear. “HEUSC, pull file on Dr. Katou Haru.” He said quietly. Daisuke was determined to find out anything he could. The technology was made by his father, while he tried to hide as best he could, his family were billionaires. His sister was the inventor. He and his father were both members of the hospital board. Daisuke knew the power he had, and yet he didn’t want any part of the Kambe Co. He was content being a surgeon.

“Dr. Kambe, I’m on your service today.” Shoyou said.

“Ok, I have a tumor removal, and a subderal hematoma. You may observe on the floor. I will decide if you will assist.” He said, his cool, calm voice returning.

“Ok! I’ll start rounds.” He said, Daisuke followed his resident down the hall.

“File located. Katou Haru, age 29. Height, 5’8. Father, Katou Makoto. Mother, Katou Yui. Haru attended a Mayagi public high school, he went to college abroad at Columbia University. He returned to Japan for residency, and has been employed at Toyko General Hospital since residency. He lives alone, but visits his father in hospice once a week. His mother is buried in-”

“Thank you, HEUSC. That will be all.” Daisuke said. He did not mean to uncover all of that. So his father was in hospice? He said he was just retired. That’s what everyone had thought. Daiuske knew Haru grew up without a mother, but this was different. This explained so much about Haru. About what he said, and how he acted.

“Dr. Kambe, I’ve finished rounds. May I go to the skills lab before your surgery?” Daisuke nodded, he watched Shoyou as he ran off to go practice. So happy and free, Daiuske missed being that carefree. Before everything seemed to fall on his shoulders.

“You done with rounds?” Oikawa said, plopping a large group of charts onto the nurses table.

“Yes, I assume you are as well, Toruu.” Daiuske replied, Oikawa nodded. “Hey, you’ve been here since you were a fellow, right?” He asked, Oikawa nodded. “Has Haru ever had a relationship with...anyone?” He asked.

“No. It’s sad really. The guy gets asked out all the time, but he’s too afraid of commitment to ever do anything” He said.

“Where is Haru?” He asked, his worry growing. Of course Haru wasn’t okay. Why did he listen?

“I think he’s talking with a patient.” Oikawa said, Daisuke sighed.

“That guy is going to drive me crazy.”

“Yeah, crazy in love.” Oikawa laughed.

“Is it that obvious? I thought I was being slick.” He said, blushing slightly.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t call you slick. I think Haru is just even more oblivious than you.” Oikawa said, smirking. “But I hope things work out. I think he needs someone who will be there for him.” He continued.

“Yeah. I hope I can be that someone.” Daisuke muttered. He started down the hall towards the supply closet. He needed some stuff so he could practice his procedure. Just some extra sponges, maybe a suction. The basics. He was planning on heading to the skills lab to teach Shoyou for a bit as well.

He opened the door quietly, and found Haru curled in a ball on the floor. “Haru?” He said, the man jumped. He sniffed, and stood up to leave. “Haru, you don’t have to leave.” He said. Haru sank back down, his back pressed against the wall.

“What do you want?” He asked, his face contorted with sadness.

“I want to know why you look like someone killed a puppy infront of you.” He said, Haru shut his eyes tight. He did not want to cry, and not infront of Daisuke.

“I’m fine,” his voice cracked. He was tired, and sore. And his head was pounding. He was not fine.

“No you aren’t.” Daisuke replied, Haru let out a small laugh. It sounded forced, and weak.

“Just leave me alone. It’s what I’m used to anyway.” He muttered, still averting Daisuke’s gaze.

“I’m not leaving you here to wollow in your own depression.” He said. Haru sat, unmoving. His body heaved up and down. His shoulders shook. He composed himself again.

“I’m not depressed. Go away.” He said quietly. Daisuke understood, he was not in the mood. He listened to Haru, quickly grabbing his sponges and suction and left. “It’s better this way.” Haru muttered. He felt a tightening in his chest. It was a soft pang. He didn’t want to push Daisuke away, but it was just easier.

………..

“Haru, I need a consult.” Oikawa said, “come with me.” Haru followed behind him into the peds ward. Pediatrics. He liked peds, kids recovered quicker. But angering the makers of the tiny humans scared him more. He didn’t have the same charm as Oikawa.

“Hi~” the little girl said, waving to him. It made Haru’s heart drop. She needed a cardio consult, at age 7. That was the other reason he didn’t like peds. He got too attached to kids, and he didn’t like thinking about… losing patients. Especially when they were that young.

“Hi Aoi-chan~” Oikawa said. “This is my friend, Katou-chan. He’s going to help your heart.” Oikawa said. He was a natural with kids, unlike Haru. “Takato Aoi, age 7. She had a murmur.” Oikawa said, handing Haru her chart. He surveyed it, such a healthy little girl, and yet she needed a cardio consult.

“Aoi-chan. I need you to take a deep breath in, okay?” The little girl did as instructed, “and out.” She did as she was told. “Good, can you do that 5 more times for me?” He asked, the little girl nodded. “1...2...3...4...5…” He said. “Very good, thank you!” He said. He turned back to Oikawa. “Order a CT.” Oikawa nodded.

“Aoi-chan. We’re going to take a trip down the hall to a spaceship, okay?” He said.

“A spaceship? Awesome! Thank you Katou-chan.” The little girl said, Haru smiled back. Oikawa was really good with kids.

“I’ll page you once we have the CT back.” Oikawa said, Haru nodded. Then his pager went off. 911? Room 230, which was on the second floor, Haru began to sprint. If someone was paging him 911 he needed to be there, now.

He was out of breath, as he pushed the door open to 230. “Ah, good. You’re here.” Daisuke’s low, cool voice said from the other end of the room.

“You paged me 911, where’s the patient?” He asked, still trying to catch his breath.

“There is no patient, besides you I guess.” Daisuke said.

“The fuck are you on about, Kambe.” He said, glaring at the man across from him. “I’m not a patient. Can I go now?” He asked.

“No, sit.” Haru shook his head. “That is an order, or I will tell the board that you haven’t slept or eaten since yesterday, and you will be forced to go sleep in Kuroo’s office. While he glares at you. And talks about how we all work together like one big organism. Do you want that?” Reluctantly, Haru shook his head no. “Then lie down on that bed, and sleep.” He said.

“Fine. But why do you even care?” He asked, the question had been bothering him for awhile.

 _“Because.”_ He said, “now go to sleep. Or I will make you sleep.” Haru lay down, shutting his eyes. Sleep came naturally. Despite his best efforts to conceal how tired he was, Daisuke seemed to know. Like how he seemed to know everything. He felt something warm squeeze his hand, but he couldn’t tell if it was a dream or reality. When he woke up, he felt more refreshed than ever.

His pager, ID, white coat, and stethoscope sat on the table next to him. Along with two dollars and a note.

_Haru,_

_I know we have our differences, but I will always be here. And I will always worry, for the sake of the hospital. And for you. And don’t you dare bring me back this money, I have no use for it. Go buy some food._

_Daisuke_

Haru stared at it. So he cared, but did he care about Haru? Or his reputation and the hospital? He couldn’t tell. Daisuke confused him quite often. He was tempted to give Daisuke back the money, but eventually decided against it when his stomach began to loudly growl. Maybe Daiuske wasn’t so bad after all. But Haru brushed away that thought.


	4. Mutual Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this one is kinda short and chaotic, also meet daisuke the simp.

Haru woke up, feeling numb. Snow had begun to fall outside his window, subconsciously, he began to shiver. His apartment was heated, and he wasn’t physically cold. He felt cold. And empty, and alone. He slowly pulled himself out of bed, his feet dragged across the floor. He felt weighed down. Maybe Daisuke was right, maybe he was depressed.

He had no time to think about it. He had to perform open heart surgery on a 7 year old with Oikawa. That was the only thing on his mind. He didn’t have time to worry about himself. He flopped onto one of the bar stools in his kitchen. Shakily, he opened the top of his container of Iron supplements, because naturally, he was iron deficient too. If he didn’t already have enough to deal with.

He grabbed his old brown jacket on his way out, stuffing his hands in his pockets. When he got down to the lobby, the old lady from the apartment next to him waved. He waved back. When he got outside, the wind whipped against his face. Tiny fragments of ice pierced his skin. He shoved his hands deeper into his pockets. He was cold, he had forgotten his scarf in his whirl of confusion on his way out the door.

He closed his eyes, waiting for the light at an intersection. He opened them, nearly stepping into oncoming traffic. He felt a hand wrap around his waist, pulling him back. He landed softly into the arms of the man behind him. He turned to find Daisuke holding him.

“Haru, what were you thinking? You could’ve gotten yourself killed.” He said, raising his voice more than normal. He didn’t answer, instead, he let the man hold him. He soaked in his warmth. He began to shiver again. Daisuke noticed. “You’ll catch a cold you know, going out with just that. Here,” he said. He took off the scarf he was wearing. The blue scarf found itself secured around Haru’s neck and collar.

“Thanks.” He mumbled. He was pretty out of it afterall. Had Daisuke sounded more worried than usual? No, he was just imagining things. They usually saw each other around this intersection, it was a block away from the hospital, and their apartments weren’t too far either.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Daisuke asked, giving Haru’s shoulder a soft squeeze.

“As I’ve told you many times before, Daiuske. I am fine. I am always fine. I will always be fine.” He said, the usual bite to his words gone.

“And as I recall, that never seems to be the case.” Daisuke retorted, Haru glared. Daisuke was right, he tried to conceal his emotions. To not let anything get in the way of his practice, but ever so often, he got distracted.

“If I die, then yeah. You can tell everyone that I was wrong. That I wasn’t fine. But for now, I am fine.” He sighed.

“Haru...you can’t live your life like that.” Daisuke said, his voice softer. “You have to have people to lean on.” He continued, he was trying to see if the younger man would acknowledge him. Let him be _his_ person. Haru was as dense as usual, and brushed the comment aside.

“I know.” He said. That caught Daisuke off guard. Haru never agreed with him. Not even during intense surgeries. He always had to contradict Daisuke. But not this time. He was giving in, Daisuke had made him soft. He’d been working with the guy for almost two years. And Daisuke was breaking down his walls, little by little. Haru could feel it, the chinks forming in his armour. “I have an important surgery, so please don’t page me 911 just because you thought I needed my beauty sleep.” He muttered.

“Fine. At least drink a cup of coffee, or better yet, eat breakfast.” He said.

“Coffee, deal. I’ll eat later.”

“Haru.” Daisuke’s tone was different. Not annoyed, but something else. Haru couldn’t quite place it.

 _“Fine,_ and I’ll eat breakfast.”

“Good, see you after rounds.” Daisuke said, walking through the sliding doors at the entrance.

“Whatever.” Haru said, making his way to the attendings lounge.

……..

“Morning,” Kamei mumbled. He had worked the night shift and basically had given up on ever sleeping at night again.

“You look like shit,” Haru said, looking his friend up and down.

“You aren’t much better.” Kamei laughed. “At least I have the decency to shower at the hospital.” He said. Haru glared at him.

“Whatever, I do my job. That’s what matters.” He said, throwing a pastry towards his friend. “Here, eat.” He commanded.

“Where did you get this?” Kamei asked, unwrapping the packaging. “It’s… food. You never bring food.” He mumbled, amazed.

“Stupid Kambe made me buy it and because I was too tired to argue with him, I did.” Haru grumbled, unwrapping his own. “And I do bring food.” He added.

“95 yen instant noodles do not count as food. Neither does the beer from Riku’s.” He said, taking a bite of the flakey pastry.

“Yeah, yeah. You can lecture me once I’m in my thirties, alright.” He said, finishing his.

“You are almost thirty, and you have the soul of a 70 year old anyway.” Kamei laughed. Haru set his stuff into his locker, and took out his white coat. It had his name embroidered on it, along with his MD. He felt proud, he had followed in his father’s footsteps. And after he finished his residency, he’d become an attending. And although he was still a fellow, like the other attendings, he felt proud.

He went through his same daily routine, first his scrubs, a nice shade of dark blue. Then his coat, then his shoes. Then he put his stethoscope around his neck, clipped his ID and pager onto his pants. Then he was ready. Oikawa paged him 911. He took off, what was wrong? It was only 6 in the morning. Why was he being paged 911?

“Oikawa, what’s the problem!” He yelled, bursting through the doors to the peds wing.

“Cardiac tapenade!” He yelled back, trying to calm down the terrified little girl. She had the usual sign, shortness of breath, weakness, and she looked like she was about to pass out.

“So there’s fluid in the pericardium, which is compressing her heart.” He explained to Aoi’s parents. “We can get the fluid out, the cause was an aortic aneurysm. We are going to perform a pericardiocentesis. Which means, we will go in through the chest cavity, and get the liquid out using a small needle. She should recover quickly.” He said, handing them the consent form.

“And the mortality rate?” The asked, reading the forms.

“14% in adults. It’s lower for kids, and they recover faster as well. Don’t worry, she is in the best care. Toruu is the best peds surgeon you will find.” He assured them. They nodded, signing the forms. “I will send out my resident throughout the surgery to fill you in every 30 minutes.” He assured them.

“Okay, please help her.” Aoi’s father said, holding his wife calmly.

“I promise.” He said. Something had come over him. You never promise the next of kin anything, and yet he had promised them. Something was off with him.

“We’re going to prep her, you can go do your rounds. I’ll page you when it’s time to scrub in.” Oikawa said, motion towards Yachi, who was standing near the doorway.

“Okay,” Haru said. “Dr. Hitoka, done with rounds. Ready to present?” He asked, she was quiet.

“We have a big case, come with me. Everyone’s talking about it.” She said. A big case? For cardio?

“What is it?” He asked, she didn’t know how to answer.

“Come with me, Dr. Kambe is already waiting.” She said, motioning for him to follow into the cardio wing.

“Kambe is on the case too?” He asked, gritting his teeth.

“Yes. It needs a neuro consult as well.” She said, Haru let out an exasperated sigh. He already saw Daisuke more and more outside the hospital. Now he had to work a case with him. What else? Having dinner together? Absolutely not. He made his way down the hall, following Yachi. When he entered the room, he nearly tripped on himself. He was still pretty tired.

“Gotcha,” Daiuske smirked, catching his counterpart quickly. Haru released his grasp on the man’s arms.

“I wouldn’ve fallen anyway.” He grumbled, smoothing out his coat. “Anyway, Dr. Hitoka, please present.” He said, trying to ignore Daiuske’s eyes on the back of his neck.

“Nice catch, Kambe.” Kuroo said from the hallway. This must really be a big case, Haru thought. Kuroo only showed up for pro-bono’s and stuff that would bring the hospital good publicity.

“Naturally.” He said, the two shared a look. Haru felt awkward, as though he was stuck in the middle. “Dr. Hitoka, are you presenting?” He said, turning towards Yachi.

“Y-yes! Um, sorry. Shota Noriaki, age: 45. He has a large benign tumor that has been eating into his chest cavity. He is here for the removal. It is located on his large intestine but has grown into the chest cavity and aortic wall.” She said, Haru and Daisuke exchanged a glance. This was serious, Haru realized the large lump on the man was not a pillow, but part of the tumor. “BP has been normal, but we will run some more labs before prepping.” She continued.

“Okay, page me after the EKG and CT come back.” He said, “Kambe, come with me.” He added, Daisuke seemed to perk up. He followed the younger man down the hallway.

“Oh~ so now you want to talk, Haru. And in the on-call room too. You know what goes on in the on-call room, don’t you?” He purred, his voice was low.

“S-shut up, Daisuke.” He had stuttered. He did not stutter. Katou Haru did not stutter. Why was he stuttering? And over stupid Kambe Daisuke nonetheless. He blushed, knowing full well what went on in the on-call room. People usually got with each other there. In fact, he had caught multiple interns and other fellows. Which left their relationships awkward.

“Don’t tell me the great Katou Haru is flustered?” He cooed. Haru scooted back until his back was pressed against the cool wall behind him. He heard a thump, and felt a hand by his face. Daisuke leaned closer. Haru shut his eyes, was Daiuske going to kiss him? His hand brushed against Haru’s face. “There was an eyelash,” he said, blowing on his finger. “If you want me to kiss you, I’m buying dinner first.” He added, his sly smirk returning.

“O-oh shut up, Daisuke. Now I’m not going to tell you. You can leave,” he said, desperately trying to hide his face.

“No, now I want to hear what you had to say. Since you’re usually so keen on speakin your mind.” Daisuke said, his voice seemed more seductive than before. Haru was trying his best to remain unbothered, but Daisuke was getting to him.

“I-I’ll tell you later!” He stuttered, rushing out of the room. His face had turned a bright shade of pink. He did not want Daisuke to see, that was for sure. Daisuke stared at his hand, the one that had brushed Haru’s face. There was no eyelash, it had all been a ploy. And Haru had taken the bait. So he didn’t hate him, no. He actually liked Daiuske? Well of course, anyone who gets with me falls in love. Daisuke thought.

“I’ll make him mine.” He said to himself, squeezing his hand into a fist.


	5. Dinner or date?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh Haru... he’s going to lose it in the next chapter. Also, if anyone has a suggestion please leave a comment! :)

“Haru,” Daisuke called from down the hall. Haru tried his best to ignore the other man. But he couldn’t. Daisuke walked closer, Haru felt his breath on the back of his neck again. He shivered, his face reddening.

“What, Kambe.” He muttered, scooting farther away. Daisuke strode across the hall, getting closer to him once again.

“Dinner.”

“What about it?” He snapped, trying to ignore the world class, annoying handsome neurosurgeon behind him.

“Have dinner with me.” He said. Haru heard basically every nurse on the floor’s head turn. They were all jealous.

“And why would I do that?” He muttered, his hands began to fumble with the charts unintentionally.

“Because, you didn’t pass up my offer last time.” He said, Haru almost choked on his breath. Yes, that was true. But last time had ended with… he was debating his answer. He definitely wanted Daisuke to hold him, but he was not admitting that. He felt Daisuke blue eyes on the back of his neck. His perfect blue eyes, the eyes that Haru loved.

“Fine.” He gave in. He wanted Daisuke desperately.

“Really? I’ll pick you up at 8 tomorrow. And please, for the love of god, wear something nice.” He said, he walked back down the hall. He had gotten what he wanted.

“Fuck you, I’ll wear an old t-shirt just because of that.” He said, his face turning red again. Kamei sauntered up to him, clearly amused.

“A date? Well it was bound to happen anyway.” He said, smirking at his friend. “So, I assume I’m planning your outfit. You may hate him, but he’s definitely going to take you somewhere out of your price range. At least look nice.”

“Yeah, fine. We can go tomorrow then, since he’s taking me out on Friday night, like a fricking date.”

“Isn’t it a date?” Kamei asked, Haru reddened.

“No, it is not a _date_. It is a dinner meeting between colleagues.” He muttered.

“That is the closest gay excuse for a date that’s ever come out of your mouth. You actually like him. Oh my god, Katou Haru actually has feelings for someone.” Kamei laughed, “this is new territory.”

“It. Is. Not. A. Date.” Haru growled.

“Whatever you say,” Kamei said, “now I’m definitely going to make you look good.” Hajime came up to join Kamei in his teasing.

“So our Haru is finally going on a date? And with the prince of the hospital. You better lock your doors, his fangirls might come after you.” Hajime laughed.

“Oh shut up, both of you. Stupid Kambe does not have fangirls.” He muttered, fidgitting with his finger again.

“Wow you are an idiot.” They both said, bursting into laughter. Haru’s face reddened even more. “The man is basically a celebrity. In fact, he is a celebrity.” Hajime said, trying to contain himself.

“He’s a world class neurosurgeon/ billionaire. Have fun on your date, you might end up in Paris by the end of it.” Kamei said, hugging his sides.

“He’s also a dick.” Haru muttered, trying to drag down Daiuske’s rep.

“He’s really not though. You just don’t want to admit that he’s a good guy. He’d be good for you, you know. He’d be there to support you.” Kamei said, suddenly turning serious.

“Haha, very funny. As if I need someone besides myself.” Haru taunted, his tone turning sour.

“Just give him a chance.” Hajime added.

“Fine. For you two, but not for him.” He mumbled.

“We’re rooting for you!” Kamei laughed.

“Shut up.” He said, walking down the hall towards the elevator.

……..

He leaned back against the cool walls of the elevator. Calm yourself, idiot. He told himself. His cheeks felt hot, he could still feel Daisuke’s hand on his cheek. He could still feel the man’s breath on his neck. “Fuck.” He muttered, he did like Daisuke. He imagined it, Daisuke holding him. His back pressed against the silk sheets. Daisuke’s seductive voice whispering in his ear. His lips on his chest. His hand gently pressing on his thigh. “Dammit,” he was hard.

Like on cue, the man in question stepped into the elevator. Haru began to panic, he turned away, facing one of the walls.

“Haru, what are you doing?” He asked, he placed a hand on the younger man’s shoulder. Haru felt a shiver run down his back. He was so turned on, and he couldn’t do anything. And Daisuke was right there. And he could smell his scent, and hear his breath.

“Ah-umm. Nothing.” He scrambled his words. He couldn’t speak, Daisuke was so close.

“Nothing? Hmm, okay.” His voice was low, even lower than normal. Haru shuddered, his body reacting on it’s own. He was out of control. Daisuke’s leg found a place in between his. His knee pressed up against Haru. He let out a soft moan, then immediately covered his mouth. The elevator made its way to his floor, and he rushed out.

“Well~ that was interesting, now wasn’t it? Dr. Katou.” Daisuke purred from behind him. Haru was already far out of earshot to care. You’re more sensitive than you seem. He thought, remembering Haru’s reaction. This is going to be fun. Daisuke thought, watching the elevator doors close again.

“Ugh, Dammit!” Haru screamed in the quiet of the supply closet. “Dammit! Stupid Daisuke! Stupid perfect, seductive Daisuke!” He yelled, pacing around the room. “Ugh! Why did I agree to have dinner with that bastard!” He grumbled, finally slumping down against the wall.

“Haru? What are you doing here?” Hajime said, bursting in. “And why are you yelling about Daisuke?” He said, staring down at the crumpled figure on the floor.

“Ugh. I hate him. I hate that I like him.” He muttered, staring back at Hajime.

“Ah, so you’ve finally come to terms with it? Good. You’ll finally get laid for once.” He said, smirking.

“W-what, no one is getting laid tonight. And it is not a date.” He muttered, standing back up.

“For the record, you would make a good couple.” He said, a hint of laughter in his voice.

“Aw, isn’t that sweet?” He said, mocking the idea.

“Well you wouldn’t be frantically pacing in the supply closet if you didn’t like him.” Hajime had a point there.

“Well whatever, Daisuke’s just toying with me anyway.” He mumbled.

“No he’s not. Once you come to terms with that, you’ll actually be happy.” He said, his voice becoming kinder and less mocking.

“Whatever.” Haru said, walking out of the supply closet. He smoothed out his scrubs and coat. He looked at his pager, it was the benign tumor, he began to run.

……….

“Well, that took longer than expected.” Haru sighed, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. He had been in the OR for 17 hours. It was officially Friday.

“Yep. But you know what today is? Dinner~” Daisuke announced.

“Well, there will be no dinner until I get the blood off my scrub cap.” He said, Daisuke scowled.

“Then I’ll wait. Or I could buy you a new-”

“No. I can afford my own scrub cap, thank you. I am a surgeon, remember.” He sneered, Daisuke’s face remained as annoyingly handsome as ever.

“Yeah, but you’re a surgeon in debt.”

“If you knew anything about me, you would say crippling debt. Ha! Point Haru!” He exclaimed, raising a fist in the air.

“I could pay off your-”

“No, Daisuke. Stop always suggesting that.” He grumbled, glaring over at the other man. Daisuke smiled, his eyes glimmered with mischief.

“Just you wait.” He said, smirking. “See you later, Dr. Katou.” He added, walking through the sliding doors to the scrub room. Haru sat in silence. He waited for eight minutes, until Daisuke was done. He walked into the scrub room. He was alone.

He took his gloves and extra scrubs off, took off his scrub cap, and set it to the side. He’d take it down to the hospital cleaners himself. He scrubbed religiously, until there was no reminisce of blood, or rubbing alcohol, or anything else that could’ve found its way onto his gloves. He opened the door, and found Daisuke waiting in the hall.

“What do you want?” He said, staring over at the other man. “And wipe that look of your face, you’re too distracting.” He added, noticing the nurses gazing at him.

“Are we still on for tonight? Or shall I cancel?” He asked, reconsidering after the surgery. He wanted to take Haru out, but he also wanted Haru to finally get the right amount of sleep for once.

“No. I’ll come. But you’re driving.” He said, Daisuke nodded.

“I’ll bring my nicest car.” He smirked. Haru glared, of course Dr. Rich Boy had like 10 cars.

“Whatever, anything will suffice. I’m not picky.” He said.

“Okay, then leave. Go get ready. We’re off for the rest of the day anyway. Since it’s technically Christmas and we get off this weekend. I assume you don’t have any plans?” He asked, Haru nodded. Of course he didn’t have any plans. Who was he going to spend Christmas with? Kamei? No.

“Sure.” He said, walking down the hall. Daiske followed. “Can you stop following me?” He grumbled. “Oh wait, I forgot. You aren’t following me, you’re just going in the same direction.” He mumbled.

“Yep.” The left, going their separate ways.

Five hours later, Haru was sitting in his apartment, nervous out of his mind. His heart was racing. He kept trying to straighten his tie. Kamei had dressed him. He had on a white suit with a small gold handkerchief. His tie was black, it matched his shoes and cufflinks. He felt out of place, wearing such nice clothing. He got a text from an unknown number.

**I’m outside. Come down.**

So Daisuke had gotten his number. He attempted to straight the tie once more. He grabbed his phone, and his pager in case. After locking his door, he began to fidget with his finger again in the elevator. When he got down to the lobby, there was a cluster of people gawking at someone outside. He realized it was Daisuke almost immediately. That idiot.

He made his way through the crowd. His date was leaning against a sleek black Porsche Turbo gt3. He had on a black suit to match. Perfectly tailored, with a gold Rolex to match. Haru had a sneaking suspicion that Kamei had coordinated his outfit with Daiuske’s. Daisuke took his Gucci sunglasses off, gazing over at Haru. He suddenly felt extremely conscious of the stares. Daisuke walked over gracefully, extending his hand. He opened his car door with the other.

“Shall we?” He said, when Haru grabbed his hand. He felt all the stares melt away in that moment. And then there was no one but Daisuke.


	6. Black Silk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i honestly don’t know how to describe this chapter. for the people that watch greys, Daisuke is McDreamy, Haru is like Meredith. everything else is kinda OOC.

Daisuke had rode in silence. Haru’s heart was racing. He was so nervous, he didn’t want to mess up. Or say the wrong thing, because he did like Daisuke. He really, really liked Daiuske. They stopped infront of a skyscraper.

“There’s a restaurant on the top floor.” Daisuke said, getting out of the car. Haru went to open his door, but Daisuke was already there. He extended his hand once again, and Haru took it. His hand was warm, and it calmed his nerves.

“A true gentleman, aren’t you?” Haru laughed, letting go of Daiske’s hand. “You bring all of your women here too, right?” He added. Daisuke stopped, turning back around to face him.

“No. You are special.” He said, turning back. He flashed his ID towards the guard on the side, and an elevator opened. Haru couldn’t think about anything besides Daisuke’s words. When he stepped into the elevator, he was amazed. The entire thing was gold, it had red velvet flooring and velvet rails. It was faster than any elevator he’d been in either. They arrived on the 60th floor of the building, Daiuske stepped out first.

“Good evening, Dr. Kambe.” The host said, bowing politely. He bowed his head, Haru did the same. A waitress appeared, motioning for them to follow. Where am I? Haru thought, surveying the elegantly dressed people around him. He recognized some as models and Idols. Along with politicans, and CEO’s. They were led to a private room, Haru marveled at the room. Everything was gold, with red accents. The table was by a floor to ceiling window that showed the clear Tokyo skyline.

“What would you like?” The waitress asked, although her question was directed more towards Daisuke. Before Haru could answer, he did.

“Please bring what I reserved earlier, and tell the chef I say hello.” He said, she bowed, then walked away. The door closed with a soft click. “So,” Daisuke said, turning his attention to Haru. “I feel as though it's only fitting to say this. Tonight, you can ask me anything you want. And I will answer.” He said.

“And why would I do that?” He asked, the offer was still tempting.

“Well, I know more about you than you know about me. I felt it was only fitting.” He said, taking a sip of the champagne that had been placed infront of him.

“Okay. Why did you become a surgeon in the first place. I mean, aren’t you a billionaire?” He asked, Daiuske took a long sip. His eyes reflected in the sparkling liquid.

“I didn’t want to follow in my father’s footsteps. Business meetings are boring, surgery keeps me on my toes. Why did you become a surgeon?”

“I want to help people. That’s all that matters.” He said.

“You’re moral compass is truely unmatched, Haru.” He said, carefully setting the flute of champagne down with grace.

“You’re not so bad yourself.” He said, he felt the alcohol kicking in. His cheeks flushed a bit.

“Now you flatter me, but nothing compares to you. You genuinely are one of a kind.” He said, the corner of his lips curving into a small smile. They smiled at each other, not saying anything. Then their waiter returned, bringing the most beautiful steaks Haru had ever seen. They were perfectly cooked A5 steaks. With rosemary potatoes and small grilled asparagus. Haru’s taste buds melted as the meat hit his tongue. It was better than anything he ever had.

Once they were done, the waitress brought dessert. She placed a small chocolate mousse infront of him, Daiuske had just an espresso. “You don’t like sweets?” Haru asked, noticing Daiuske’s drink.

“Not really. But you do, right?” He asked, Haru nodded, digging his spoon into the mousse. It was delicious, the entire meal was perfect.

“Yes, thank you for tonight.” He said, placing his fork neatly on the empty plate. He dabbed at the corner of his mouth with his napkin, then neatly folded it on the table. He was happy, and calm. And he felt at ease around Daisuke.

“Would you like to come back to my place?” Daisuke asked, setting his cup down. Haru was taken by surprise, but then he remembered what Daisuke had said before. _If you want me to kiss you, I’m going to buy dinner first._

“I-sure.” He said, blushing. Daisuke smiled, he stood up first. Once again, he extended his hand. Carefully, Haru took it. Haru stared up at the other man. He looked stunning, in his perfect suit. His hair slicked back, his eyes were a soft grey-blue. His chizled cheekbones, his small nose. His perfect pink lips. Haru couldn’t help but marvel at the man infront of him.

He slid into the carseat. Daisuke was at the wheel, his engine started, and they were off. Daisuke led Haru through his ritzy apartment building. Everyone seemed to know who he was. Daisuke pressed 40, when the doors opened, Haru found himself in the man’s living room. It was large, and modern with a gold, white, and black theme.

“Is this your penthouse?” Haru asked, doing a quick spin, taking in the large room. Daisuke nodded. He made his way towards the large, open kitchen. He opened the fridge, holding a Voss water bottle out to Haru. Haru took it, staring down at the overpriced water. “Wow, I’m surprised you don’t have Kambe Co. water.” Haru laughed, staring down at the bottle.

“HEUSC, purchase Voss wat-”

“Daisuke, you don’t need to buy the company.” He said. He opened the bottle, taking a long drink of the water. Daisuke set down his bottle, and took off the top layer of his suit. He slowly loosened his tie, making eye contact with Haru. Haru had to fight the urge to take off his own and throw himself onto the other man. But he didn’t.

“So?” Daisuke whispered, gently caressing Haru’s face. “How would you like this night to end?” Daisuke’s face was so close to his own, he could almost smell the coffee that lingered on his breath. He carefully took off Haru's own coat, draping it on the chair next to him. Haru grabbed the man’s tie, their lips connected. When they pulled back, “yes, that’s what I was planning as well.” Daiuske murmured, he scooped Haru up, making his way upstairs.

Haru found himself on his back, clinging to the black silk of Daisuke’s bedsheets. His hands were tied above him, Daisuke’s tie holding them together. Daisuke’s voice was low and smooth. His hand pressed on Haru's hip, his mouth teased his nipples. Haru couldn’t do anything but watch. Daiuske was putting on a show. He’d stripped Haru naked, then slowly took off his own tie, tying Haru’s hands above him.

“Haru,” he purred, clicking open a bottle of KY. His finger found it’s way into Haru’s hole. Daisuke knew the perfect spots immediately,

“Ah-hey… ah.” Haru moaned, Daisuke slipped a second finger in. Daisuke kissed his cheek, then nibbled on his ear. He left marks up and down Haru’s neck and chest. He slipped a third finger in, Haru felt like he was going to cum, and Daisuke wasn’t even in yet. Daisuke inserted the tip, Haru shivered. He nuzzled Haru’s neck, then licked his nipple. He was in, Haru was twitching. He could feel it, inside. Pressing against his organs. “I-I’m gonna…” Haru came, Daisuke licked it off his face. Haru’s face turned an even darker shade of red.

“Feels good, right?” Daisuke purred, his blue eyes taking mental images of the man infront of him. He pulled Haru’s hips, until he was sitting ontop. He took in the whole view. “Haru.” He added, his body was reacting on its own.

Haru could barely move. His hips and butt hurt too much. He wanted to shower, but couldn’t bring himself to walk across the room. “Haru?” Daiuske called, walking back with another bottle of water. “You want to shower?” He asked, Haru nodded, yet again failing to stand without pain shooting up his spine. “I’ll carry you,” he said, smirking at Haru’s embarrassed expression.

“No. I’m fine.” He mumbled. Daisuke had really done a number on him. His stamina was unmatchable. He stepped out, stumbled and nearly tripped. Daisuke caught him once again. That would make it three times.

“Haha, nice try. I’m carrying you,” he said. Haru began to protest but eventually gave in. The shower was relaxing, Haru felt his soreness beginning to fade. Daisuke was being kinder than normal, or maybe Haru had finally realized that he wasn’t so bad.

“Daisuke, what should we call this?” He asked, referring to the night.

“What do you want it to be?” He said, stepping out of the shower as steam curled above his head. “Even if you use me for the sole purpose of sex, that still means I’m closer to you than anyone else, doesn’t it?” He continued. Haru didn’t know how to respond.

“Y-yeah. Keep things casual, that’s what I was going to say.” He muttered, wrapping himself in the plush white towel Daiuske was holding. It wasn’t true. He wanted more than a casual relationship, but he was still too afraid to say anything. He could almost feel Daiuske’s disappointed glare from the sink. It’s better this way, he reminded himself.

………..

“So you’re using _the_ Kambe Daisuke as a… fuck buddy?” Kamei said, nearly doubled over from laughing. Hajime joined in the taunting.

“Who knew our innocent little Haru could be so cruel. You probably broke his little heart.” Hajime snorted, suddenly they all were laughing.

“Wow, didn’t know you had it in you.” Oikawa said, eyeing him.

“Hey, hey, hey. What’s this about?” Kotaru asked, joining in the teasing.

“Oh shut up, all of you. We are keeping this on the downlow. There’s no reason for this to get out of hand.” Haru said, his face flushing a new shade of pink.

“You can try your best, Katou,” Akaashi added, “but sooner or later, you’ll have to accept your feelings.” He added, walking away. They stopped laughing, Akaashi rarely spoke, when he did, he always made a valid point.

“He has a point.” Hajime said, “but none of this is staying on the downlow. You’re banging the hottest attending in the hospital. And he’s a celebrity, everyone is going to know. Gossip spreads like wildfire here.”

“Yeah. If everyone knows which interns are sleeping with each other, everyone is going to know about what you two are doing in the on-call room” Kamei said.

“I have rounds,” Haru muttered. He was done with that conversation. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears. Is this what having a crush is like? He thought. Haru had never really thought about it.

“It’s quite a slow day today, isn’t it?” Daisuke said from behind him.

“Kambe, don’t jinx us.” Kuroo said, joininng them. “You know what happens when someone says that, pandemonium occurs.” He added.

“That’s just a myth. See, today is a slow day.” He pointed to the empty ER beds.

“You say that now, but wait. Something will come.” Kuroo said, walking back down towards Kamei. Although everything seemed calm, Haru began to worry. He knew Kuroo was right. It didn’t matter what Daiuske thought, you never jinxed a calm day.

“Haru you can stop worrying. Nothing’s going to happen, and if it does, it won’t concern us. It’ll just cause a bit of overtime, which I’m sure you’re used to.” Daisuke said, walking towards him. Haru fought the urge to grab his collar, and pull him closer. Instead, he just glared. Putting up his walls once again. “What? Are you mad at me or something?” He asked, the same stupid smirk returning.

“I have patients to see, Daisuke. Can you go bother someone else?” He grumbled, willing his pager to go off. To Haru’s dismay, it didn’t.

“Well, it seems as though you don’t have any patients at the moment. Want to spare some time for me?” He said, his breath close to Haru’s ear.

“As dreamy as the nurses think you are, I have no intention of hooking up with you in the on-call room. Now, Daisuke, I have things to do.” He said, rushing past the other man. He could feel Daisuke’s eyes, analyzing everything.


	7. Frozen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i don’t remember the exact episode but for the people who watch Greys this is based off of that episode where Mer almost drowned. i’m also sorry that i’m putting Daisuke through this.

Haru’s day had been pretty dismal. Daiuske hadn’t bothered him, but that was probably because he had back to back surgeries. There was still something eating at the back of his mind, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen. Maybe it’s what Kuroo had said, or maybe it was just him being paranoid. He couldn’t tell.

His pager went off, and he was springing down to the ER. “We’re doing triage!” Hajime yelled, handing out supplies and loading the residents into ambulances. “Two water buses collided in Sumida! We don’t have numbers yet, but expect a lot of people!” He yelled, as people frantically began to prepare the ER. There were tents set up, they had every member of staff on call.

Then Haru was in an ambulance, and he was on his way to the river. Then he was jumping out, as the cold air hit his face. The bag in his hand felt slightly too heavy. He felt weighed down by the extra layers. There were people everywhere, screaming, crying. Search and rescue was in full panic mode. He felt a tug on his jacket, and looked down to see a little girl staring up at him. She didn’t say anything, but her eyes were terrified.

“Where’s your mommy?” He asked, the little girl didn’t say anything. Her hand shook a bit. Haru felt an overwhelming sense of fear from the girl. He felt it, that fear. The same fear that he had felt all those years ago, as he ran down the hall. Only to find his mother was gone. Forever. “Here,” he said, lifting the girl into his arms. “We’re going to find your mommy. Okay?” He said, the girl nodded slightly. She was so tense that it scared Haru.

Haru made his way through the crowds of people. He hoped the little girl couldn’t see everything. There was so much blood, and there were people everywhere. And everyone was terrified. He could smell smoke, and in the distance could see the boats. They were both up in flames. There were still people coming out of the burning boats, as the smell of fuel, blood, and smoke mixed. Haru noticed the triage, the bodies that lay unmoving, covered in rain soaked tarps. And then the people next to them, praying that they would wake up. Haru knew that was never going to happen.

Haru set the little girl down, running towards a terrified woman exiting one of the boats. He led her towards triage, passing the woman to one of the EMTs. He looked back, surveying the area. The little girl had vanished. He took off, frantically trying to find her once again. He did not want to lose her, he didn’t want her to feel the way he had.

“Have you seen a little girl!” He yelled towards Kotaru, he shook his head. “Blonde, small, blue eyes?” He shook his head again. Haru ran through the crowd, he found the little girl, staring out towards the water.

“Come on, we can’t stay here, it’s not safe.” He said, grabbing her hand. She stopped him, pointing towards the water. He stopped, she tugged his hand, leading him towards another man. The man had a pole through his leg. “Sir, can you walk?” The man didn’t answer, just continued to scream, grabbing his leg. Haru didn’t understand how the small girl was staying so calm. He held out his hand to the man, he grabbed. Haru was thrown off balance. He struggled, but couldn’t regain his balance. He felt his figure wavering.

His body hit the frigid water. It seemed to curl around him, like icy fingers. Grabbing his clothes, pulling him down, farther from the surface. He struggled, desperately trying to reach the surface once again. His head found its way, and he broke the surface, gasping for air. Water filled his lungs as his head bobbed under again. He clawed towards the surface once again, “help…” he gurggled as water filled his lungs. He coughed, his throat burned.

He watched the girl run away. Was she coming back? He didn’t know. Thoughts swarmed his mind. He hadn’t told Daiuske anything. What if he never got the chance? What if he was going to die, and he’d never get to say it. He tried to remain above the surface, as waves moved him farther and farther away. He flailed in the water, his coat weighing him down. Through his terror and confusion, he saw the girl return. Daisuke was there. He closed his eyes, as his body disappeared from view.

Daisuke stared at the small girl tugging on his jacket. She pointed out towards the bay, her grip becoming stronger as she tugged him in that direction. He followed, quickening his pace. What had she found? Another survivor maybe. He made his way through the crowds, following. When they made their way through, he found himself staring out at the bay. He saw a ball of taupe colored hair slip beneath the surface. Haru? The girl pointed out, then touched his jacket. He knew immediately, it was Haru. Haru had given up, letting the water take him down.

Daiuske threw his coat to the side. He ran towards the water, as he dove in, he felt the cold water wrap around his body. It began to drag him down. He opened his eyes, the murky water stung. He saw a glimmer of silver. Was it Haru? He swam closer, feeling around. He felt an arm, he pulled. The body was still slightly warm.

As he broke the surface, he forced Haru up as well. His body was ridgid. Daisuke raised him over the side, pulling his body up onto the concrete. He was so scared, he didn’t know how long Haru had been there. He scooped the man into his arms, he began to run. His pace only increased as he realized Haru wasn’t breathing. Hypothermia had set in, and Daisuke knew of people that survived drowning. But he wasn’t sure how long Haru could survive.

“Haru! Wake up! Wake up, please…” Daisuke pleaded, squeezing his limp body. He felt his tears slowly falling. He didn’t know what he could do. He was a doctor, he could do something. And yet, his body felt frozen. He was afraid to move. He ran towards Hajime, who was busy directing the triage and search and rescue. “Iwazumi! Call the hospital!” He yelled, running closer. He needed to find some warm fluids. And heating pads, anything that would warm Haru up.

“Kambe, what happened?” He yelled over the pandemonium. He stared at Haru, who looked almost dead.

“I-I don’t know.” He cried, his tears were falling faster than before. He was so scared, he hadn’t said anything. He’d just let Haru hide his emotions, but what if he never said anything. Kotaru ran up, pulling Daisuke into an ambulance. They layed Haru down, and began to pump warm fluids. In four minutes, they were back at the hospital. And then Daisuke was running through the doors, pushing the gurney himself. He was met by Kuroo, who was leading him down to a trauma room. “Let me stay!” He pleaded, as Kuroo was pushing him out of the room.

“Daisuke stop.” He commanded, gripping his shoulders tightly. “You’ve done everything you c-” Haru’s heart rate monitor flatlined. Daisuke tore away from his grasp.

“Call a code!” He bellowed, the nurses swarmed the room. “Charge to 200!” They did, nothing, the monitor remained flat. “Charge to 250!” Nothing. “Charge to 300!” He yelled, his voice becoming weak. Nothing. “Charge to 350!” There was a beep, the monitor began beeping again, the beeps were slow. But he was alive again. Daisuke slumped back against the wall. He felt his shaky breath begin to stabalize.

“Daisuke, go home.” Kuroo said, pulling him back into the hallway.

“I can’t.” He said, staring back at Haru’s lifeless body. “I can’t leave him alone.” He said, brushing his tears away with the back of his hand.

“Daisuke, you can’t be on this case. You’re too close to him.” Kuroo said. “But I can’t make you leave.”

“I’m not close to him, Haru never gave me that chance.” He muttered, staring back at the monitor.

“Daisuke,” Kuroo sighed, putting his hand on his friend’s shoulder again, “you are close to him. You know that, and he knows that.” Daisuke couldn’t look him in the eye. “But the best thing we can do for him now is a medically induced coma, are you sure you want to be there for that? You know the protocall…” Daisuke didn’t want to hear it. He knew the protocall already. He just nodded, walking solemnly back into the room.

“I’m staying.” He said, there was no changing his mind.

“Fine. But we have to move him to the ICU first. Go get some coffee.” Kuroo said, Daisuke glared, but walked down to the cafeteria. He didn’t know what to do with himself, or what to think. When he returned, Kuroo wouldn’t allow him in the room. He sank down against the wall outside and put his head in his hands. He felt completely and utterly alone.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and looked up to see Oikawa staring back at him. He sat down, not saying anything. Daisuke cleared his throat, but didn’t end up saying anything. “Daisuke, you did all you could.” He said, Daisuke’s shoulders shook.

“He gave up, Toruu. I watched him give up. He let himself slip below the surface, I saw him. I made eye contact, and then he… he just gave up. I-I don’t even know what I could’ve done. I didn’t know...I didn’t know anything. I asked, but he just shut me out. And then he goes and tries to die. What am I supposed to say? Is it my fault? Did I cause this?” He whimpered, he could see Haru’s expression all over again. He felt it, the cold air around him. The tug on his jacket. He felt it all, as it happened. Like a terrible movie was replaying over and over again.

“Daisuke… you pulled him out of the water. You didn’t cause this. You know that.” Oikawa said, Daisuke just shook his head. He saw a familiar face running through the ICU towards him. He stood up quickly, as she approached.

“Suzue…” He mumbled, as she threw her arms around him. She’d come all the way there, for him. He couldn’t hold back anymore, he broke down. She pulled him closer, as he sobbed into her shoulder. She held him close, Kuroo had called her. And if the chief of surgery was calling, it was something serious. She was also a member of the board, so any big disaster brought her to the hospital.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” She said, her tone reassuring. “It’ll be okay.” She squeezed him close, he was usually taller, but in her heels, she was. Daisuke sniffed, wiping his tears with his sleeve. He hated crying, he hated how his eyes stung. His throat felt raw, his hair was still wet and cold.

He pulled away, he was shivering. He crossed his arms, gripping his biceps tightly. He could feel how hard his nails dug into his own skin. He was trying his best not to scream or cry or drink himself out of his mind. So he kept himself awake. “I have to go, board meeting.” She said, her voice was kind. “I assume you aren’t going.” She added, he shook his head. She turned to leave, but he caught her hand. His hand was shaking, “Daisuke, it will be fine.” She said, and turned to leave.

Daisuke sank back down in the hallway. Kuroo wasn’t allowing him in the room, he wouldn’t let him see any of it. Daisuke already knew exactly what was happening, they were giving him the meds that would keep him asleep. He didn’t want to think about what could happen, if Haru never woke up.

“Haru… you idiot.” He mumbled into his hands. He watched his tears fall, he stared down at the random blood on his scrubs. His hair lay flat, stuck to his pale face. He needed to change, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave.

“Daisuke, go change.” Oikawa said, sitting down next to him. Daiuske just shook his head, his eyes were red. He had what would qualify as the worst headache of his life. He pulled his hands from his face, he could feel Oikawa staring at him.

“What?” His voice was gravely, not like his own.

“Come on, we’re getting you changed.” He said, pulling Daisuke off the ground.

“I’m not a child.” He muttered.

“No, you aren’t. Children know when to ask for help. You are sitting on the floor soaking wet, in a random person’s blood, covered in your own tears. You are not a child.” He said, Daiuske didn’t even have the strength to reply.

Daisuke pulled on his sweater. He shivered, no amount of clothing would shake that feeling. Once he was changed, he began to make his way back to Haru’s room. Once again, Oikawa stopped him. “Eat.” He commanded.

Daisuke stared at the milk bread Oikawa had given him. “I wouldn’t call this a meal.” He muttered, opening the plastic seal. “And why do you have a stash of milk bread?” He added, Oikawa cracked a small smile.

“For emergencies, like this.” He said, opening one for himself. Daisuke chewed the sweet bread. Usually, he didn’t like eating sweets, but at this point, it was brightening his mood. Anything to distract him from his sobering reality. He threw the plastic in the bin near him, and turned to leave. This time, Oikawa didn’t stop him.

He walked into the room, Haru lay motionless. His temperature wavered above 36 degrees celsius. When he had arrived, it was staggering at 34. That’s what had scared Daisuke more than anything. Except when he coded, but Daisuke tried to ignore that memory. He pulled up a chair, and collapsed down next to bed. He felt helpless, watching Haru lay there. He couldn’t do anything, and it hurt just watching. The famous cardiac surgeon, who was always on his own. And all Daisuke wanted was for Haru to wake up, and finally admit that he needed him.

“Haru, please don’t sleep too long.” He whispered, gripping the man’s hand tightly. He didn’t want to let go. He was almost afraid to ever let go again. He kissed Haru’s hand, then lay his head on the bed next to him. He shut his eyes, and felt sleep pull him away from reality.


	8. Suspense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so rip to my happiness writing this chapter. I’m sorry I’m still putting daisuke through this.

Daisuke woke up sharply, almost unaware of himself. As his vision focused, he surveyed the room. Then it all hit him once again, his eyes glazed over. He didn’t cry, he just held it all in, as he stared at the half dead man next to him. How long were they going to keep him asleep? And would he even wake up when they tried? He thought, staring at Haru’s placid face. His usual angry expression seemed far better than this one.

“Daisuke,” Toruu said, walking in. “Do you want me to send a resident for your rounds?” He held a cup of coffee out, Daisuke took it, shaking his head.

“No, I’ll go do rounds.” His gravelly voice said, he gave Haru’s hand another soft squeeze, and stood up. Toruu stayed close, they had been friends for awhile, and Toruu could tell Daiuske was not going to handle himself on his own. Daisuke's head felt stuffy, like his brain had been replaced with cotton balls.

He walked through the halls solemnly, his usually princelly aura gone. He didn’t feel like himself, everything felt off. Haru was always there, he was always right there. Bickering with Kamei, or glaring at him from across the nurses station. But not today, today everything felt wrong. Everything was wrong. He had been wrong.

Kamei walked past him, and glared. _He glared._ Daisuke didn’t understand. “What the fuck are you glaring at?” He snarled, Kamei stopped, his gaze hardening.

“Haru is in there, because of _you_.” He said, picking up a chart.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He sneered, his voice cracking. “This is _not_ my fault. I don’t know who told you that.” He said, trying his best not to break down again. Kamei surveyed his face. Maybe it wasn’t Daiuske’s fault? He couldn’t tell, he had been in surgery during the entire thing. When he finally came out, his friend was lying unconscious in an ICU bed, and Daiuske was next to him. Naturally, he had come to the conclusion that it was Daiuske’s fault. “Do you seriously think that it’s my fault?” His voice cracked.

“Then what the hell happened?” Kamei said, his glare lessening.

“He tried to die! And I had to pull him out of the fucking freezing water, while everyone was doing triage! B-because he let himself drown! And you are standing there, trying to blame me…” Daisuke felt a tear slide down his face. Kamei’s glare melted away. He realized the severity of his words. Daisuke was not at fault, he was terrified.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t told. I just assumed-”

“You assumed what? That it was my fault? That I tried to…” Daisuke clutched his shirt tightly, he was so close to his breaking point. His vision became blurry as he ran into the stairwell. He slumped down, and put his head in his hands. Kamei had accused him of hurting Haru. That’s what stuck with him the most. Kamei’s words might as well have stabbed him in the heart. “Haru…” He muttered, his head was pounding.

“Daisuke!” Toruu yelled, bursting into the stairwell. Daisuke looked up, his face plastered with tears. “Hey… what happened?” His voice softened as he sat down. Daisuke felt his words choking him. He couldn’t say anything, he didn’t have any idea what to say.

“K-kamei…” He mumbled, trying to collect himself. “He thought it was my fault. That I made Haru-” he couldn’t finish his sentence. He burst into tears, he put his head back into his hands.

“You know that’s not true. You know that. Daisuke, this is not your fault.” Toruu said, his voice was quiet. He pulled his friend into a hug. “It is not your fault. You know that.” He said, his voice soothing and smooth.

“I-I’m sorry.” He mumbled, “I’m just causing you trouble.” Toruu pulled away to face him again.

“Daisuke, you are not causing trouble. You are scared, we all are. There is nothing wrong with needing someone to talk to.” He said, Daisuke nodded, rubbing at his puffy eyes. “Now, you are not doing rounds today. Come on, we are going to sit, and talk about your feelings.” He said, Daisuke scowled, but didn’t disagree. Toruu led him to a quiet room in the outpatient wing.

“Thank you,” he mumbled once they were away from everyone.

“You don’t need to thank me.” He said, cracking a small smile. Daisuke smiled slightly, it felt better knowing that someone was on his side. “So, do you want to talk? Or do you want to just calm down?” He asked, Daisuke sniffed, and walked into the bathroom. After splashing his face with water, he came back out.

“Talk.” He said.

“Daisuke, how do you feel right now?” He asked quietly. Daisuke plopped down onto the bed. He pulled his legs close to him, until he felt as small as possible.

“I feel like this is all my fault. That I somehow caused it. If I had gotten there in time, maybe he would be awake right now. Maybe I wouldn’t feel my heart breaking. Maybe I wouldn’t feel like everything I did was in vain. If I had gotten there two minutes earlier, would he be awake right now? Or would he still be lying there? Why do I feel like everyone is glaring at me? It feels like I’m being blamed for something that I don’t know about.” He said, hugging his knees close. “And what will Haru say if he wakes up? Will he hate me? Will he despise me like he has all these years? And why didn’t I say anything? I didn’t want a casual relationship, I wanted him. And what if I never get to say that?” He said, gripping his legs tightly. “What if I never get to say anything again?” He said quietly.

Toruu didn’t say anything at first. Daisuke was being genuine, he knew that. And he knew both sides, he knew how Haru felt. “When he wakes up, you have to tell him that.” He said.

“And if he doesn’t?”

_“When he_ wakes up,” Toruu said. Daisuke understood, he nodded.

“Thank you, Toruu.” He said, straightening out his coat. Toruu nodded.

“Anytime, and remember, he will be okay,” he said. Daisuke nodded again, and walked out of the room.

……….

Daisuke’s days remained the same. He woke in a cold sweat, gripping Haru’s limp hand. Then he shook off the feeling of death that hung about him. He was greeted by Toruu, who kept him sane. He made his way through easy surgeries, keeping his mind occupied. It had been four days, and they still weren’t going to wake Haru up. They said his body was weak, and needed time to heal. Each time when he asked, they said the same thing.

Toruu didn’t exactly know what to do with his friend. Daisuke walked around lamely, like a lost puppy until he was paged for a surgery. And once he was done, he went back to his same glassy eyed look. He looked miserable, everytime he put on his scrubs. Everytime he walked out of an OR. Everytime he did anything. Toruu realized his friend was living in misery. He still didn’t know what he could say that would change that. No amount of kind words, or small smiles would change it.

Kamei felt horrible for the way he had acted. He hadn’t known, and instead had jumped to conclusions. He saw how terrible the famous neurosurgeon looked, in his rumpled scrubs, his hair uncombed. He didn’t look like himself at all. Kamei knew about Daisuke’s feelings, he had known all along. But both Daisuke and Haru were too stubborn to admit anything, and that’s what had kept them apart. But looking at Daisuke’s expression that day changed everything.

“Daisuke,” Kamei said, approaching the other attending. Daisuke flinched, but quickly turned around. “They are gonna wake him up, go. You’ll want to be there when he wakes up.” Kamei said, he watched as the other man processed the information, then went speeding down the hall. If there was any doubt about Daisuke’s feelings, the doubt was gone. “Please treat him well.” Kamei sighed, he wanted Haru to be happy. And as much as Haru hated to admit that, both he and Daisuke knew their feelings were mutual.


	9. Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> daisukes going to be a simp for awhile longer, sorry. and someone please tell haru how to read between the lines.

Daisuke sat quietly, gripping Haru’s hand once again. They had given him the drug, finally, they were going to wake him up, Daisuke knew that it could be minutes, or hours, or days. But he was unbothered, he knew it was finally time. He sat, and sat, and felt his eyes becoming heavy once again. But he didn’t want to sleep, he didn’t want Haru to wake up when he wasn’t awake. Once again, sleep began to pull him away from reality.

Haru cracked his eyes open towards the sunlight that streamed through a nearby window. How long had he been out? He wondered, he stared up at the ceiling, then the wall that was adjacent to him. He noticed a pressure on his hand, there Daisuke sat. His head beneath one hand, the other gripping Haru’s own. He surveyed the shell of a man infront of him. Daisuke did not look like himself. His usually perfect hair was messy, his face was puffy, he had deep bags under his eyes. His lips were chapped too. This was not the Daisuke that Haru remembered. This was someone Haru didn’t recognize.

“Dai?” He said softly, squeezing Daisuke’s hand. The man began to stirr, then snapped his head up to face Haru. Haru watched as a tear slowly ran down his cheek. He felt Daisuke’s hand grip him even tighter as it began to shake. Daisuke drooped his head down, and watched as his tears began to fall. “Daisuke?” He asked again, his voice was tender.

“Please tell me I am awake right now…” He mumbled, his grip was so tight that his knuckles began to turn white.

“Daisuke look at me.” He commanded, Daisuke did as he was told. He faced Haru, he was awake. He was finally awake. Daisuke’s body was heaving up and down as he sobbed. Had he really been that worried? Haru thought, looking down at the man before him.

“I-” He tried, but couldn’t say anything. Haru pulled him close and quietly stroked his hair. It was calming him down. His body stopped shaking, he sniffed. “I thought you were going to die.” He mumbled into Haru’s chest. Haru gave him a squeeze, and he squeezed back. He lifted his eyes up from the blue linen sheets to face Haru. “I watched you, you looked at me. A-and then you were gone…” He muttered, his head drooped again. “Did you try to…” He trailed off, unable to finish his sentence.

“We can talk later,” Haru said. Daisuke nodded, his heart was racing. Haru had called him _Dai_. He hadn’t heard that name since his grandma died. That name had always calmed him down, every single time. This was no different. “And I won’t tell anyone you just bawled your eyes out.” He added, cracking a small smile. Daisuke didn’t react, he just gripped Haru’s hand as tight as before.

He walked back down the hall, wiping his cheeks with the back of his hand again. Haru hadn’t reacted, he hadn’t pushed him away either. Did he really even care about what happened? He wondered. Toruu ran up to greet him, holding out a milk bread. Daisuke took it, flashing him a grateful smile.

“How’d it go?” He asked, Daisuke took a bite then turned back to him.

“He seemed unbothered by the entire thing. Like it was a normal Tuesday or something. Like him nearly drowning didn’t matter.” He mumbled, Toruu sighed.

“That’s Haru for you. He doesn’t get worked up over anything anymore.” He said, taking a sip of his coffee. “It’s sad really, but he’s always been that way.” Daisuke took a deep breath and nodded.

“I wish he’d at least try to understand.” He grumbled, Toruu nodded in agreement. “I didn’t tell him, he didn’t seem like he would’ve wanted to know.” He said, referring to his confession in the outpatient room.

“Daisuke,” Toruu sighed. “If you don’t tell him he’ll never know. The guy is so dense.” He said, picking up a pile of charts. “And if you go back to teasing him in elevators Kamei might come for you again.” He added, surveying the charts.

“I don’t _tease_ him in elevators,” Daisuke muttered. His face flushed slightly.

Toruu laughed, “yeah, whatever you say.”

………………

Haru’s life went back to normal, almost. It seemed like Daisuke was acting different, more protective than before. He checked on Haru more often, making sure he was eating and sleeping. Haru could tell Daisuke was more worried than before. But that didn’t stop him from fooling around in the on-call room. Their relationship remained the same, just fuck buddies. Nothing else.

“Kambe, I need a consult.” Haru said, making his way lazily towards Daisuke. He nodded, his cool composure had been regained.

“Sure. Where?” He said, cracking a small smile. He was trying to remain as unbothered by Daisuke’s change in attitude, but it was getting to him.

“I have an older guy. He came in for a concussion, but I think he needs a cardio consult. So are you coming?” He asked, walking back down the hall. Haru followed, watching Daisuke’s slight hop to his step.

“Yeah,” He said, after giving the exam. “He needs a pacemaker, book an OR. I can do it.” He said, Daisuke nodded quickly. “And,” he paused, “nevermind.” He shook the thought away, and walked back down the hall. He could feel Daisuke’s smirk from behind him.

“Haru,” Kuroo said, approaching him. “There’s a fundraiser in two weeks, please don’t forget.” He added, “it’s a black tie event, wear something nice.” He waved, then began to meander back towards his office. A black tie event? He thought, Haru hated dressing up.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be there.” He grumbled. He turned to see Daisuke standing in the hallway, “what’re you lookin’ at?” He sneered. Daisuke opened his mouth to reply but all that came out was a quiet cough. Daisuke hadn’t been feeling great since that day, but he thought it was just from the lack of sleep. Haru surveyed him quickly, his scrubs and coat were slightly rumpled. His hair wasn’t up to his usual standard. He seemed a little frazzled in the OR that day as well. “Are you sick?” He asked, snapping back to reality.

“What?” Daisuke coughed, “I’m not sick.” He cleared his throat, “I just have allergies.” He mumbled, Haru blew air from his nose and shook his head.

“It’s December, so thank you for that lie. You are sick, aren’t you?” He asked again. Daisuke sniffed and shook his head.

“I’m not sick. Kambe’s don’t get sick.” He said, Haru snorted.

“Sarcasm isn’t the most flattering emotion on you.” He laughed, Daisuke’s stupidly handsome smirk spread across his face. “And I’m sure if you are sick, you’ll come crying to me about it at some point.” He added, Daisuke turned away.

“Ok Dr. Katou, you tell yourself that.” He coughed again, “and I’ll provide the tuxedo for the gala. I know you won’t pick something satisfactory.” He added, Haru scowled towards his back.

“Ugh, whatever. Go away stupid Kambe.

“Goodbye Katou~” He smirked.


	10. Feverish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finally some fluff in here instead of just smut. also this was an excuse for me to write sickfic, just saying.

“You know what tonight is?~” Daisuke purred in Haru’s ear. Haru shivered as Daisuke’s hand made it’s way up his chest. His breath was hot against Haru’s neck, his eyes gleamed a perfect crystal clear blue. “I have the tuxedo for you, but~” he paused, pressing his lips onto Haru’s, “you’ll have to come get it~” His stupid smirk spread across his face. His voice was low, and deep. But it was slightly raspy.

“Fine, Kambe.” He mumbled, covering his mouth to stop himself from enjoying it. Daisuke was so good at it, at everything. He felt Daisuke’s finger trace the outline of his nipple. “Ah...fuck.” He sighed, as Daisuke’s fingers made their way back down. He felt the room becoming more hot, and Daisuke’s seductive aura seemed to intensify.

There was a click, as the door swung open. Tobio stood in the doorway, then immediately ran away, “Excuse my interruption!” He yelled from down the hall. Haru quickly pulled away from Daisuke’s embrace. Daisuke’s stupid smirk remained on his face.

“Call me tonight~” He mused, Haru rolled his eyes but nodded.

“Whatever, stupid Kambe.” He said, briskly walking out of the on-call room.

………….

Haru pressed the call button at Daisuke’s apartment. “Yes?” His low voice said.

“Um, it’s me. You said you had my tux, that you _insisted_ on picking out.” He grumbled, he could almost hear the smirk spread across Daisuke’s face. “Okay?” He groaned, the elevator opened. He pressed the top floor, and in a matter of seconds, he was standing in Daisuke’s huge penthouse. “Oi, Kambe!” He yelled, surveying the massive living room.

“Shh, don’t get cranky, I’m right here.” He said, walking gracefully down the stairs. He was in a beautiful black tux, with gold accents, and a blue pocket square that matched his eyes. He had on a gold Rolex, and his shoes were perfectly polished.

“Woah…” Haru sighed, unable to tear his eyes away. Daisuke raised an eyebrow and smirked, Haru scowled.

“Here,” he said, shoving a dry cleaning bag towards Haru. Haru snatched it, and ran towards one of Daisuke’s many bathrooms. Once inside, he stopped to marvel at the tux. It was black, similar to Daisuke’s with a silver vest, and a set of perfectly polished cufflinks. There were small velvet rosettes on the inside of the tux. Which matched the pocket square.

He put it on quickly, awkwardly fumbling with the bow tie. He stumbled out of the bathroom, still trying to do his tie. “Here,” Daisuke said, taking the fabric in his hands. “I’ll do it.” He gracefully tied it, as though it was the easiest thing in the world. “And I’m driving,” Haru scowled again.

“Whatever.” He said, straightening the tie again. Daisuke strode over to the elevator, and quickly they were in a garage.

“Choose any car.” Daisuke said, Haru made a 360 around the room. Were all of these his? He wondered, marvelling at the rows and rows of cars.

“Don’t wanna.” He said, his voice hardening. Daisuke smirked.

“That was your first mistake.” He laughed, as a car clicked quickly. There was a blink of lights, and then a small beep. Haru stared over at the Bugatti La Voiture Noire that’s motor had begun to hum softly. Haru looked at the car in awe. It was the most expensive car in the world to date. It was known simply as The Black Car. “We’re taking this one.” He mused, Haru’s glare could’ve cut through ice.

“Absolutly not. Why are we even going to a fundraiser when you could fund the world?” He growled, Daisuke held out his hand. Tentatively Haru took it.

“Because, we can't fund a hospital even if we wanted to. We cannot be the only members of the board.” He said, as he opened the door for Haru. Haru slid into the plush seats, Daisuke closed the door, then walked around to the other side.

When they stepped out, it was snowing again. Haru shivered, but felt Daisuke’s hand give him a soft squeeze. He felt warmth flow through his body. Was he warmer than usual? Haru shook the thought away. “Merry Christmas Eve.” Daisuke said, pushing the golden doors open. Haru snorted.

“Christmas Eve? Is it really the 24th?” He said, releasing Daisuke’s hand. Daisuke’s eyes sparkled as he took in the room.

“It really is.” He muttered, Haru stared over at him. His eyes were perfect, and light like stars. A waiter came over with flutes of champagne, Daisuke took two, extending one towards Haru. He took it, taking a long swig. “You know that’s not how you drink champagne.” Daisuke smirked, Haru glared back over at him, but his lips curled into a slight smile.

“Whatever.” He took another long sip. He lost Daisuke in the flow of people. But quickly spotted him as girls began to surround a tall, handsome man. Yep, that’s Daisuke. He thought, laughing to himself.

“Hey,” Hajime said, lightly elbowing him. “How’s it going with Mr. Hot Doctor?” He asked, raising his own glass of champagne in Daisuke’s direction.

“He made me wear this.” He muttered, tugging at the fabric of his blazer.

“Looks nice, Kambe knew what he was doing.” He laughed. Haru scowled but couldn’t hide his blushing face.

“Shut up, Kambe probably picked whatever was the cheapest.” He grumbled, Hajime’s smile only grew.

“Haru,” he laughed. “That tux alone probably cost your rent.”

“Don’t remind me.” He grumbled. He watched as Daisuke meandered back over. His face was flushed, and his tie was slightly loosened. “Kambe,” he said as Daisuke approached. “Are you drunk?” He asked, he could almost smell it on his collar.

“No. I’m fine.” He said, his words slurred slightly.

“No, you’re drunk.” He said, his voice more asserting. Daisuke cracked a smile, a perfect, billion dollar smile. Haru’s words faltered for a second, then he collected himself. “Come on, I’m bringing you home.” He said, reaching for Daisuke’s arm. Daisuke shook his head, his perfect smile unwavering. “Dai, come on.” He said, that seemed to do it.

“Fineee.” He pouted. He let Haru drag him out of the building. “Take me homee.” He said, once they were in the car. He sneezed, then again. Haru looked over, his face was flushed from the alcohol, but he seemed paler than normal. “I’m fi-” his words were cut down to a fit of coughing. He felt his throat burning. He was sick, he had been sick for weeks. He just hadn’t wanted to say anything.

“No, you’re drunk. And you’re sick, and you’re an idiot.” Haru muttered, gripping the steering wheel a bit tighter.

“G’night, Ha…” Daisuke’s eyes closed. He felt himself being pulled into sleep. He woke up in a cold sweat, he was scared and shivering. He’d had that dream, that terrible memory had surfaced. That day, he thought Haru was gone. “Haru!” He screamed, his voice hoarse. His nose felt stuffy, he felt slightly dizzy. He was grabbing onto his sheets, he felt fevery. But cold at the same time. Sweat dripped down his face.

“Daisuke?” Haru said, the door to his bedroom swung open. Daisuke felt his body relax as Haru came closer. “Are you okay?” He said, his voice was soft and calm. Daisuke’s body stopped shaking after hearing his voice. He nodded quickly, but Haru seemed unsure. “No you aren’t. Look at yourself.” He said, coming closer.

“I-” his words dissolved into coughs again. He was gasping for air, but couldn’t manage to breathe through his nose either. He tasted blood in the back of his mouth.

“Shh,” Haru said, plopping down on the bed next to him. “It’s okay.” He said, Daisuke slumped down onto Haru’s chest. Haru smoothed Daisuke’s hair away from his face. He was burning up, his fever had gotten worse. Haru wrapped his other arm around the small of Daisuke’s back. Daisuke nuzzled against Haru’s chest.

“Warm…” Daisuke muttered, moving closer, wrapping his arms around Haru. Haru quietly stroked his hair.

“Go back to sleep, okay?” Haru whispered, clicking the small lamp off. Daisuke coughed, and nodded slightly.

“M’kay.” He mumbled.

“Merry Christmas.” Haru said, giving him a light squeeze. He kissed the top of Daisuke’s head. Daisuke relaxed a bit, feeling sleep pulling him away from reality.

“M’chri...m’s” he said, half asleep. Daisuke’s night was anything but merry. He couldn’t pull himself out of the nightmare. He was standing on the edge, as the wind whipped his face. Then he was plunging into the frigid water again. Then he was waiting, and waiting. And then he was worried sick. Literally. And he couldn’t pull himself away…

“Daisuke! Hey, hey… Shh. Dai. It’s okay, I’m right here. Daisuke…” He was crying in Haru’s arms. “Shh, shh, it’s alright. Just try to go back to sleep.” Haru said, stroking his hair slowly. Daisuke pulled away, desperately trying to wipe his tears. Why wouldn’t they stop? How long had he slept for?

“I-” he couldn’t get anything else out besides a cough. Haru pulled him close again, he felt an overwhelming feeling of warmth again. It felt nice, but he still shivered. Haru kissed his head again, then pushed the sweaty hair away from his face.

“Go back to sleep,” he said quietly. “Or Santa won’t come.” He added, smirking slightly. Daisuke let out a soft _hmph_ and snuggled back against Haru.

“There is no Santa...” He mumbled into Haru’s chest. His eyes became heavy and he soon found himself falling asleep again.

Daisuke cracked his eyes open to soft warm light. He sat up slowly, and stared out the large floor to ceiling window, watching as large snowflakes fell swiftly, coating his world in a blanket of white. He surveyed the room, everything was clean and glowed softly. It was his room, but it seemed warmer, more homey than before.

He smelled the faint scent of gingerbread, although he couldn’t tell if his nose was deceiving him or not. He saw a cup of green tea on the table next to him and a note.

_Daisuke_ ,

_No, I did not leave. Don’t worry. If I am not here when you wake up, I’m doing some unimportant yet necessary household chore. Please don’t worry. Drink the tea, by the time it’s finished I should be back._

_Haru_

Haru knew him too well. Daisuke took the cup in his hands, it was still warm. He felt warmth flow through his fingertips, the sensation tingled throughout his body. He shivered, and took a small sip. It was delicious, but his appetite had basically disappeared. Still, Haru had made the tea and he was determined to drink it.

Once finished, he set it back down, pinkie first. Just like his grandma had always taught him. He lay back onto the bed, the plush pillows forming a wall of warmth. It didn’t compare to Haru being there. Where was he anyway? Daisuke thought, closing his eyes. His mouth stayed open slightly, allowing him to breathe. His lips were chapped, but he was too tired to find any chapstick. “Come back soon.” He muttered, as his mind drifted away from reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, just for reference a Bugatti La Voiture Noire goes for around 18.9 million US dollars. So only Daisuke would ever drive this car.


	11. Back to Buisness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Hoshino is making his great entrance this chapter. In the fic he his the same age as Haru.

Haru heard the quiet creek of the door as he opened it. He crept back in, carefully trying not to wake Daisuke. He plopped down on the bed, surveying the other man. Daisuke’s hair was unkempt, his nose was red, his lips were chapped. He was snoring slightly, but not obnoxiously. In a weird way, he looks cute. Haru thought, pulling part of the blanket around him. He put his hand to Daisuke’s forehead, his fever hadn’t broken yet. His breathing sounded more labored than normal.

Haru pulled Daisuke closer to him, his head quietly resting on Haru’s chest. Unconsciously, Daisuke wrapped his arms around Haru’s waist. He was still asleep, but somehow it calmed him. Haru pulled the blanket up around Daisuke’s shoulders. He ran his fingers through the other man’s hair. It was soft, and different from its usual gelled form.

“You know, if you weren’t such an annoying guy, I might’ve fallen for you sooner.” Haru mumbled, playing with Daisuke’s jet-black tresses. Haru felt a feeling of fear fall over him. He was used to being on his own, and only caring for himself. But he did care about Daisuke, even if he chose not to show it. “So you don’t get to leave me.” He whispered, pulling Daisuke closer to him. He felt a tear slide down his cheek, quickly, he wiped it off. “Okay?” He mumbled.

Daisuke cracked his eyes open. How long have I been asleep? He wondered, realizing Haru was back. He sat up slowly, as Haru’s arms loosened their grip.

“Oh, you’re up.” He said, Daisuke surveyed him. His hair was messier than normal, and were his eyes slightly red? He wondered. “What?” Haru said, his voice slightly annoyed.

“Nothing. Um, hold on.” He said, quickly getting up. Daisuke hoped it was still Christmas, but he couldn’t be sure. He scurried around his room, until he pulled out a box. Wrapped in gold paper, with a black bow. “Here,” he said, holding the box out to Haru. Haru took it slowly, admiring the paper.

“Daisuke, you don’t need to spend money on-”

“It’s Christmas,” he coughed, then continued. “It’s only natural for me to give you something. Please don’t protest.” He added, unscrewing the cap of a water bottle near him.

“Fine. But it better not have been a lot of money.” Haru grumbled, carefully pulling the black ribbon. He took off the top, and found a couple new dress shirts, along with a tie that mimicked Daisuke’s usual one.

“I figured since you’ll be a full-fledged attending soon, you’d need some new shirts. And, I assume you’ll be up for plenty of awards after your new clinical trial.” He said, Haru’s body moved on its own. He pressed his lips onto Daisuke’s, the movement surprised Daisuke. Haru wasn’t the type of person to make the first move. “I love this Haru, but I’m still sick. I don’t want you to catch my cold.” He said, pulling away.

“That’s my thank you.” He said, cracking a small smile. “And the gift was perfect.” He added, running his finger along the fabric of the tie. “Are you feeling better?” He asked, turning back to Daisuke. His face had reddened. “Do you still have a fever?” He asked.

“Ah-no.” Daisuke said, realizing he was blushing due to Haru’s sneak attack. “I actually feel a lot better, thank you.” He said, willing himself not to pounce on Haru again.

“So, will you be back to work by the 27th?” Haru asked, blushing slightly.

“Yes. New Year’s Eve means all hands on deck. But you already knew that.” Daisuke said, pulling Haru close to him. “So let’s just sleep, okay?” He said. Haru nodded into his chest.

………….

“Okay everyone, you know the drill.” Kuroo said, as interns began to prepare the ER. “Lot’s of drunken mishaps. We need everyone, plastics: minor injuries. Neuro, cardio and trauma: car accidents. Ortho: bar fights. Got it, general you take everything. Peds, help general.” Kuroo said, as people began to go to their respective places.

“Hey,” Toruu said, sliding up next to Daisuke. “Feeling better?” He asked, Daisuke nodded. “You do anything for Christmas?” He asked, Daisuke nodded quickly. “Oh really?~ You did something?” He said, his tone slightly mocking.

“I spent Christmas with Haru.” He muttered, as a smile spread across his face.

“You mean Haru spent his Christmas taking care of you.” He laughed, Daisuke nodded. “I can’t believe you’re actually succeeding. Haru doesn’t fall for anyone, and yet, he’s falling for you.” Toruu said, walking into a patient's room. Leaving Daisuke to his thoughts.

“Hey,” Hajime said, holding out a coffee to Haru. He shook his head. “Really, you aren’t tired for once?” He said, staring at Haru in awe.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Don’t expect this to be a normal thing.” Haru grumbled, taking the coffee from Hajime.

“I thought you said you weren’t tired?” He laughed.

“I’m not. I just like… hospital coffee.” He mumbled, staring down at the white cup.

“Okay, whatever you say.” Hajime laughed, walking away.

…………..

“Okay everyone, it’s 10:30. Please prepare for the disaster you know is coming.” Kuroo said, “Katou, Kambe, Iwazumi, Oikawa. Take the trauma bay. Bokuto, Akaashi, Shinnosuke and...Hoshino. Take the pit.” Haru’s head snapped towards Kuroo.

“Wait, Hoshino?” He yelled. Hoshino? He hadn’t seen Ryu since medical school. He watched as the tall man, with red hair sauntered towards him. His purple eyes sparkled.

“Haru,” he said, a smile spreading across his face. “It’s been awhile. Haven’t seen you since medical school. How are you?” He said, Daisuke glared over at him.

“I-I’m good. Why are you here?” Haru said, pinching Daisuke. He flinched, but Haru shot him a quick glare.

“I’m the new neonatologist. But today I’m just part of general, since babies don’t get drunk.” He laughed, extending his hand towards Daisuke. “And you must be the famous Kambe Daisuke, the prince of Tokyo General.” He said, Daisuke took his hand, but his eyes remained cold.

“Yes. Good to meet you Dr. Hoshino.” He said, pulling his hand back.

“Oikawa Toruu, peds attending.” Toruu said, extending his hand. Ryu took it, shaking it back.

“Nice to meet you, and you are?” He said, turning to Hajime.

“Iwazumi Hajime, trauma attending.” He said, extending his hand. Ryu nodded in acknowledgement.

“Okay everyone, go to your specified areas. We’ve got a trauma, five minutes out. Big accident.” Kuroo said, cutting the reunion short. Haru smiled, and turned towards the trauma bay.

“Who is that, Haru?~” Toruu chirped, “Mr. Refreshing, an ex of yours?” He said, Haru could feel Daisuke’s glare.

“No. Just a friend from medical school.” Haru muttered, staring back at Ryu. “He-he wasn’t anything important.” He said, his voice shaking slightly. He was lying, for better or for worse. Ryu meant a great deal to him, but he wasn’t admitting that.

“Ambulance is here!” Hajime screamed, pulling him from his thoughts. “Come on, move!” He yelled, as the others ran.

“Hang a bag of O-! What happened?!” Daisuke added, taking charge.

Shoyou ran into the room. “The report is a three car pile-up. Drunken driving, three drunk drivers. Three cars. All full of people. Umm, what should I do?” He asked, Daisuke waved him away.

“Get more blood, gauze, and Lidocane. Lot’s of it.” He said, Shoyou nodded, running off. “Haru…” he stopped, pulling back a flap of skin. “Come look at this.” He said, stopping.

“Oh god.” He said, staring at the metal and glass in the man’s chest. “We have to get this out. Now! That means now! Oikawa, come help me!” He yelled, as Toruu jumped forward. “Guys we need to book as many OR’s as possible. This is gonna take awhile. So happy New Year.” He said, beginning to clean out the wounds.

“Okay.” Everyone said, getting back to work.

17 tiring hours later, Haru was scrubbing his hands vigorously. He was trying to forget the fact that Ryu was back. He didn’t want to believe it. The first guy he’d fallen in love with, was back. Why was he back?

“Ugh, fuck this. Why is life so challenging?” He grumbled. Welcome to the New Year. So much for that.


	12. Tainted Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Hoshino is an asshole... let’s get that straight.

Haru was sitting in the same supply closet. Head in his hands, trying to suppress the emotions he was feeling. Why was Ryu back? And what was Daisuke going to do? He didn’t know what he was supposed to say. He felt his heart almost jump out of his chest when he saw Ryu. Their breakup may have been long ago, but Haru’s feelings were still there. Just stewing in the back of his mind.

He felt the knob jiggle, and he could only pray that it wasn’t Ryu. He snapped his head up, as the door opened. “Haru?” Daisuke said, staring down at him. “What are you doing in here?” He said, closing the door quietly. His blue eyes seemed to take in everything before him. He slid down to the floor next to Haru. “What’s wrong?” He asked, prying Haru’s hands from his face.

“N-nothing.” He stuttered, Daisuke’s grip tightened on his wrists.

“That’s not true.” He said, his grip loosened, but remained firm. “Haru, please tell me what’s wrong.” He said.

“I-It’s not that big of a deal.” He said, his voice quieter. “It’s just Hoshino. I don’t understand why he’s back.” He said, his voice quivered. “I don’t understand. And I don’t get why he’s being so nice now.”

“Haru,” Daisuke said, pulling him close. “You have me now, you don’t need him.” Haru shook his head.

“It’s not that simple. He covered for me a bunch during medical school, but I messed up big time. It still haunts me. He told me I was a failure, that I would never become a surgeon. I think it messed me up more than I realized.” He muttered into Daisuke’s shoulder. Daisuke gave him a quick squeeze. His pager began beeping.

“I have to go. But this conversation is not over, okay?” He said, Haru nodded quickly, standing up with him.

“Okay.”

………..

Haru stared at the tiny infant, his eyes wandering around the room. He had to perform a surgery on the barely day old child. And to make matters worse, he had to do it with Ryu. He wasn’t prepared for that. He and Ryu had been friends, so what had happened? Why had everything gone to shit? Ryu put on a smile and acted like he was different, but Haru was sceptical. He felt an icy presence behind him.

“Haru, you ready?” Ryu said from behind. Haru felt a shiver run down his back. “Or are you going to crack like last time?” His voice mocked from behind. He clenched his fist, his jaw tightening.

“Shut up.” He said, turning away. Their shoulders brushed against each other rather roughly. “I’m not the weak person you can manipulate anymore.” He started down the hall, but a cold hand caught his wrist. “Let go, Hoshino.” He said, trying to shake his hand free.

“I think we should have a little chat, Haru-”

“You can call me Dr. Katou now, we aren’t friends anymore. You made that extremely clear.” Haru said, his words dripped with anger.

“Aw, we aren’t?” Ryu said, sticking out a lip in a pout. “But we were so good together… until you... _cracked_? Right?” He said, “you think that you can just replace me? That neurosurgeon of yours has nothing on me. Just remember that.” He said, releasing his grip.

“Goodbye, Hoshino.” Haru said, rubbing his wrist. He ran through the hall, dodging nurses, just wanting to get the surgery over with. His head bumped lightly into someone and he looked up to see Daisuke staring down at him.

“Haru? What’s wrong?” He asked, staring down at the disheveled man in front of him. Haru began fidgeting with his finger uncontrollably. “Haru?” He asked again, he looked almost lost.

“Huh? Did you say something?” Haru mumbled. “I-I um… I’m fine.” He muttered, watching as the skin on his finger broke again.

“Haru. What did he say to you? What happened?” Daisuke asked, taking Haru’s hand in his own.

“Nothing. I’m just tired.” He muttered, pulling his hand away. “I have surgeries, bye Kambe.” He said, walked lazily down the hall. He could feel Daisuke’s eyes on his back. “Stop staring at me, I’m fine.” He said, turning back. Daisuke gave him a small smirk, winked, and went on his way.

“You have two hot surgeons fighting over you now? Who will win?” Kamei said, walking next to him.

“Shut up.”

“Oh~ and why would I do that? I want details.” Kamei continued, watching as Haru’s face reddened.

“Hoshino is not fighting over me, and Kambe doesn’t like me anyway. And Hoshino is the reason I don’t date anymore, so I think you don’t want details.” Haru said, quickening his pace slightly.

“Haru… are you being serious. They both obviously have a thing for you.” He laughed, but Haru wasn’t smiling.

“Whatever, no one in my life lasts anyway. You know that.” He muttered, walking into OR 1. “So no Kamei, I don’t agree with you.” He added as the doors closed behind him. He scrubbed more vigorously than normal, he snapped on his gloves. He pulled his scrubcap on tighter. He put on his mask, and glared.

“Okay everyone, let's do this.” Ryu’s stupidly happy voice said. Haru glared, not wanting to look directly at him. “10 blade~” He said, holding out his hand. He began his work, and although Haru never wanted to admit it, Ryu was good at his job. He worked efficiently, his hands glided the same way Daisuke’s did. “Haru, come do the graph.” He said, motioning him forward.

“Scalpel,” Haru said. He shut everything else out, the world began to melt away. And then it was just him, and the scalpel. And all he needed to do was the surgery. And everything felt normal again. And then he could feel Ryu’s purple eyes watching his every move. And someone was entering his zone. And he didn’t like it. Haru finished quickly, setting down his tools and backing away.

“I’ll close you can go-” Haru was already out the door, scrubbing away the memory. “Haru…” Ryu stared over at the window to the scrub room. Haru was shooting daggers towards him. “Okay then, everyone, let’s finish this up.” He said, turning back to the room filled with residents.

…………

“What the hell was that?” Ryu said, grabbing Haru’s shoulder roughly. “You don’t have to like me, but this is a teaching hospital. You can’t just ignore me.” He said, his grip tightening.

“Leave me alone, Hoshino. And I told you to stop calling me Haru, you don’t have the right-”

“Don’t have the right to call you ‘Haru’? I spent a solid four years helping you sleep, eat, and get through the day. And here you are, trying to tell me that _I don’t have the right_. Get your head out of your ass. You are the same flailing med student that you were back then. You need me! You know that!” He yelled, raising his voice more than he ever had.

“Shut up! Shut up, Hoshino! I don’t need you, I never did! I didn’t want you, I didn’t want any of this! Why are you here? Who said you could come ruin my life? Just go away, I -hic- I don’t need you. I -hic- don’t need anyone anymore…” He felt tears running down his face. Ryu loosened his grip, his expression changed.

“See? You do need me. So don’t say that you don’t-”

“I don’t fucking want you here! Go away, just like you did back then… Just like everyone -hic- did. I don’t want you here! You caused it! You made everyone turn on me! And because I was gay… That was all. You acted like you cared, but you didn’t! You never cared about only yourself, and no one else!” He said, his hand shaking. He squeezed it back into a fist, holding himself back.

“Are you kidding me? I am the reason you are al-” Ryu’s words were cut off as Daisuke’s fist met his face. He stumbled backwards, blood dripping from his lip. “Oh~ it seems your new toy has shown up, Haru~” he smirked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Shut up, Hoshino.” Daisuke said, squeezing his fist again.

“Oh~ or what, you’ll pay to have me leave? The only thing you have going for you is your money. Don’t think you’re so amazing. You’re just some stupid rich-” Daisuke’s fist landed underneath his chin. Again, Ryu stumbled back. “Oh, not a big talker. That’s okay, I wouldn’t mind bruising that stupid face of yours.” Ryu said, clenching his hand. He raised it, and his fist crashed into the side of Daisuke’s face.

Daisuke felt a bruise begin to blossom. Ryu came at him again. His fist landed on the other side, he felt his eye beginning to swell. Then his chin, he felt blood dripping down his face. Haru was frozen, unable to stop either man. All he could do was watch. He swung, but missed. Ryu caught his hand, Daisuke lost his balance. Ryu’s fist found it’s place in the middle of his stomach. Daisuke stumbled back, coughing up blood.

“Feeling a bit bruised, Dreamy Daisuke? Hmm? Did I win?” He smirked, wiping the blood off his face. “Until next time, Haru~” he said, walking down the hall.

“Daisuke, what were you thinking?” Haru said, cupping his face with his hands. “You’re perfect face, it’s all bruised.” He said, wiping the blood away. He touched the bruises lightly. “Thank you.” He said, kissing each bruise lightly. “Thank you. Thank you.” He repeated, “come one, let’s go clean these up.” Haru murmured, as Daisuke’s lips found their familiar spot on his own.

“I’m always here,” he said, pulling back. “Just remember that.”


	13. Nova Luna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i have no idea what this chapter is... i wrote it at 3 am.

Nova Luna: meaning, new moon. The darkest night in the cycle. And yet, the most comforting. Not haunting, like a full moon on a scary night. A time for change, however big or small it may be. Haru stared at the rain dripping down the windows outside of Riku’s. He didn’t make it a habit of drinking alone, but today was different. He watched as the lighting crackled, then lit up the dark sky. He wanted to distract himself, to ignore the thought clawing at the back of his mind.

“Haru, you should go home.” Kamei said, sitting down across from him. He just shook his head. “You can’t keep thinking about it, or it will eat you up inside.” He said, grabbing the beer in Haru’s hand.

“I don’t wanna go home… take me to Daisuke’s.” He muttered, drunkenly grabbing his coat.

“Fine, let’s go.” Kamei said, dragging him out of the booth.

Haru made his way to the elevator, through the building. Ignoring the stares of the much wealthier people in the lounge. He pressed the top button, and waited until the soft ding left him in Daisuke’s living room. “Daisuke~I’m here~ Did ya miss me?~” He slurred, nearly tripping over his own feet.

“Haru? What are you doing here?” Daisuke asked, walking down his grand staircase. His chest was exposed, his torso was covered by his towel.

“Hot.” Haru smirked, as his eyes flicked up and down. “You wanna… do something~” He mused, sauntering over. Daisuke’s hand found its place around his waist.

“Oh~ what were you thinking?” He said, taking off Haru’s brown jacket. He loosened Haru’s collar, and began to undo the buttons with one hand, his other was making its way down from his waist.

“Let’s do it. Pleaseee~ right here, right now.” He said, flipping Daisuke onto his back on his plush couch. “And I’ll do aaaaall the work tonight~ Just sit back and watch the show.” He whispered into Daisuke’s ear. He slipped off his pants, and unzipped Daisuke’s.

“Haru, I don’t want to kill the mood, but… are you sure you want to do this?” He asked, placing his hands on Haru’s hips.

“Of course… whyyy wouldn’t I?” He said, slipping Daisuke’s cock out. “Now shhhhh, let me have fun~” He said, Daisuke didn’t know what to do. Haru was right there, and finally in the mood. But was he really? Daisuke tried to sit back up, but Haru pushed him down. His hand tracing the muscles on his chest. Haru placed his fingers on Daisuke’s lips. “Shh, let’s have some fun m’kay?” He said, Daisuke didn’t know what to say. This was not normal Haru, even when they hooked up. Haru never acted like this. All he could do was nod.

The room was filled with the sounds of Haru’s moans. Daisuke took in the view in front of him. Haru was riding him, this was new. And he liked it, a lot. “Ah- ah D-daisuke… yes!” He moaned. Daisuke’s hands were on his butt, as he gripped Daisuke’s back. He felt Daisuke’s mouth leaving marks up and down his chest.

“Feeling better~” He whispered into Haru’s ear.

“Ah- yes- hnngh… D-daisuke!” He said, as Daisuke went deeper. “Cum in me!” He said through moans.

“Wait, we’ll cum together.” Daisuke said, as he felt Haru’s back arch further. Haru’s face was flushed a dark shade of pink, his eyes lined with tears. He had a smile on his face. But it was more of a filratious smirk. Daisuke pulled out, cumming on Haru’s chest.

“I thought you were gonna cum insideeee.” Haru whined, licking it off his fingers. He stuck his bottom lip out in a pout. “Let’s do it again.” He said, pushing Daisuke back down. “M’kay?” He said, pressing his lips on Daisuke’s. Their tongues intertwined, their bodies connected.

“Remember you asked for this, Haru.” Daisuke said, sitting back up. He pinned Haru on his back, his hands holding Haru’s wrists.

“Oh, how can I forget.” Haru said, staring at the view infront of him. Against Daisuke’s better judgement, he gave in. And only after another hour had passed did he realize how long he had been there. This was not Haru at all. This was someone totally different. Daiuske couldn’t quite wrap his head around the change in attitude.

He stared over at the ball of taupe colored hair, wrapped up in a blanket next to him. He was almost amazed that Haru had even lasted that long. Daisuke reached over, brushing the hair away from his face. Haru had long eyelashes, which covered the dark bags under his eyes. “What was with you tonight, huh Haru?” He muttered, pulling him close. “How drunk do you have to be to pounce on me?” He added, closing his eyes.

Haru woke up with a headache that might’ve been trying to kill him. At least that’s how he would describe it. He slipped out from Daisuke’s grasp, pulling the blanket back around him. He couldn’t quite remember last night. He remembered coming to Daisuke’s, but everything else was pretty hazy. He meandered into Daisuke’s giant bathroom, and stared at the marks all over him. His memories of the night before began to come back. He blushed, remembering that he had come onto Daisuke first.

He walked back into the bedroom, and went in search of his clothes. He quickly put them on, trying to escape before Daiuske woke up. He didn’t want to hear the flirtatious remark Daisuke would inevitably say. He left, hoping that there wouldn’t be any conflict at the hospital.

Daisuke walked in hours later, in a tailored suit and tie. Kuroo was not pleased about the fight the day before. And he knew there would be some punishments. He made his way up to the chief's office, as nurses gawked at him. He opened the door, and was faced with Ryu, a bandage near his lip.

“Ah you’ve finally decided to join us, Kambe.” Kuroo said, glaring from his desk at the other end of the room. “Now, you are both adults. But I think a lecture is still in order. You know the hospital is like one big body, each person is necessary and important. All of you must do your jobs in order for the hospital to run smoothly. This means _no fighting_. I can’t believe I have to have this conversation with you.” He said, leaning back in his chair. “You both will be suspended from surgery for a week. Go man the pit, both of you. Maybe you’ll do some bonding too.” He added, pointing towards the door. “Got it?” They both nodded, Daiuske stood up to leave.

“Don’t think I’m going to be friends with _you_.” Ryu said, “I’ll leave once I get Haru back.” He added, walking quickly.

“I guess you’ll be here for awhile. How much for you to leave?” He asked, putting on his glasses.

“ _What_? How much? You can’t buy me off-”

“How much for you to leave?” Daisuke asked again. “100 million-”

“No. You can’t pay me to leave.” Ryu said, his fist tightening. “Unlike you, some of us have lives that can’t be satisfied with endless money.” He said, walking into the elevator. Daisuke jammed his hands into his pockets. His money could solve any problem, he was sure of it.

“Daisuke, what are you doing?” Haru asked, stepping out of a patient's room.

“I’m suspended from surgery.” He muttered, straightening the tie.

“Yeah, that was bound to happen. Idiot. Why are you wearing…” He pointed up and down at the suit, “umm that? Why are you dressed so nice?” He asked, setting down a pile of charts.

“Had to meet with Kuroo. Wanted to look presentable.” He muttered, “how are you?” He asked, turning his attention back to Haru. Haru’s face reddened slightly.

“Um, I’m fine.” He mumbled, unconsciously covering the hickey on his neck. “Sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to pounce on you.” He said, his face turned a darker shade of red.

“There’s no need to apologize, I quite enjoyed last night~” Daisuke smirked, watching as Haru turned away. Hiding his face. You’re so cute, Daisuke thought, watching Haru fumble with his ID. “I have to work in the pit with Hoshino. Call me once you’re out of surgery.” He said, ruffling Haru’s hair. He smiled, then walked away.

“Oi, stupid Kambe! Don’t play with my hair!” Haru yelled from across the hall. Daisuke flashed a smile, and watched as Haru’s face reddened again.

“See you later, Dr. Katou.” He said as the elevator doors closed. Haru stared at the closed elevator doors.

“How can he have such a perfect smile, stupid bastard.” Haru muttered, the image still fresh in his mind.

“Yeah, I know.” A voice said from behind him. Haru turned around to one of the most beautiful women ever. She was tall, with fair skin and jet black hair. Her eyes were the same piercing blue as Daisuke’s, her lips were a light shade of pink. “My brother is a bit of a handful.” She added, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Oh sorry, you might not know me, Kambe Suzue.” She said, extending her hand. Haru took it.

“Kambe… Oh! You’re Suzue Kambe, you’re on the board.” He mumbled, Suzue nodded. “Sorry, um Katou Haru.” He added.

She smiled, “I know.” Suzue surveyed him, “although I’ve never met you myself.” She added, as Haru’s eyes flicked away.

“Oh, wait then how do you know me?” He said, facing her once again.

“My brother- um Daisuke talked about you. He was worried…” She muttered. “You seriously scared him.” Suzue said, her smile fading.

“What?” Haru asked, completely unaware. “Me? Scare the great Kambe Daisuke? No.” He laughed, Suzue smiled, but didn’t agree.

“Katou, you mean a lot to him.” She said, her tone serious. “ He was really scared then. You may not remember what happened, but I promise he does.” Suzue added, “please don’t scare him like that.” She put a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll see you around.” Suzue said, she gave his shoulder a squeeze then walked down the hall.

Haru didn’t know what emotion was gnawing away at him. Was it anger? No. Fear? No. Suzue’s words were stuck in his mind, replaying over and over. As the image of Daisuke sobbing flashed across his mind. Haru didn’t want to think about it, about him. He didn’t want to think about Daisuke suffering because of him. Maybe that’s what was eating away at his consciousness, but Haru chose not to think about it.


	14. New Chief

“Okay everyone, as for the next three months, I will be in Hong Kong. For this reason, I have elected a new stand in chief. Kambe,” Kuroo motioned him forward. “You will be my stand in chief. Please try not to kill the hospital.” He chuckled, his hand on Daisuke’s shoulder. Haru watched as the room full of attendings broke out into conversation.

“Why should he be chief of surgery?” Ryu said, stepping out of the huddle of people.

“Because,” Kuroo said, his hand slipped from Daisuke’s shoulder. “Kambe knows how to manage people. And he’s been here for a long time. He’s also a member of the board, so he can see both sides of each situation. _That’s_ why he is my stand in chief. Does anyone have any useful questions?” Kuroo said, turning his attention back to the other attendings. Ryu was shooting daggers towards Daisuke.

“If Kambe is going to stand in, who will be taking part of his shift?” One of the general attendings said.

Kuroo cracked a smile, “well, there is more than one Kambe sibling in this hospital.” Suzue stepped forward, “seems as though the Kambe’s produce neurosurgeons.” He laughed. “This is Suzue Kambe, she will be taking part of Kambe’s shifts, and she will be teaching his residents. Are there any other questions?” Kuroo said, once again turning his attention to the group. The attendings shook their heads. “Good. You may go back to your rounds.” Kuroo said, waving a dismissive hand.

“Haru, I guess we’ll be working together!” Suzue said, walking up to him. Haru was almost at a loss for words, she was so beautiful he was speechless.

“I-uh yeah… I guess we are. You didn’t tell me you were a doctor last time we met.” He said, she laughed.

“Well, I didn’t think it would be important. But yes, I’m also a neurosurgery attending.” She smiled. Daisuke made his way over to them.

“Cheif...” Haru said, “who would’ve thought you would be in a management position.” He smirked, Daisuke raised an eyebrow.

“Oh~ but I usually take charge.” He smirked, “just not in the hospital.” He winked at Haru, who glared.

“Oh shut up, stupid Kambe.” He muttered. “Sorry, Daisuke Kambe.” He added as Suzue made a fake offended noise.

“I have to go,” Daisuke said. “Call me later?” He added, stealing a glance back at Haru.

“Sure.” Haru muttered, turning his attention back to Suzue. “You can come with me, Daisuke and I- well you and I are going to be working on the same case.” He said, grabbing a chart.

“Woah, that is a nasty cancer.” Suzue mumbled, staring at the scans. “How old?” She asked, looking over the charts again.

“17…” Haru mumbled, his voice growing quiet. “17.” He repeated, gripping the chart a bit tighter.

“Well,” she sighed. “Let’s start rounds then. Best not to think about it.” She said, starting down the hall. Suzue flashed him a small smile, and he quickened his pace.

…………….

“So chief? What a surprise,” Toruu said, plopping down into one of the brown leather chairs. “I always thought that Iwa-chan would be chief one day.” He laughed, staring at Daisuke’s small plaque on the desk. “I wonder how Haru’s going to deal with it. You won’t be there to save him from Hoshino.” He laughed, Daisuke glared.

“My first order as chief is to fire that hot-headed idiot.” Daisuke grumbled, propping his feet up on the large wooden desk.

“Daisuke, that is not how being chief works. You can’t just fire him.” Toruu said, “and you can’t throw a punch at him whenever either. Being chief means you have to be in control.” Toruu said.

“Oikawa, are you chief?” He laughed.

“No, but I’m probably a better leader than you.” He smirked, “you know, I was captain of my highschool volleyball team. So was Bokuto, and Kuroo. That’s why we are fit for leadership roles.” Toruu said, doing an air receive.

“Yeah yeah,” Daisuke grumbled. “But I’m a better surgeon, it’s all the piano I did.” He smirked back.

“Oh, I’m sure Motzard is really helping you run this hospital.” He laughed. “Hey, don’t overwork yourself. You might make Haru mad.” He said, opening the door to leave. “Oh, hey Haru.” He said, looking at the surprised expression on the other man’s face.

“Come to visit?” Daisuke smirked, raising his eyebrow.

“Shut up. Don’t think you’re that much better now.” He said, glaring. “I have a question, I don’t want to bother Suzue. She’s still getting used to things.” He added, holding out a CT scan. Daisuke surveyed the screen, his smile fading.

“I don’t think you can do much,” he said. His finger traced the scans. “This is going to be extremely hard. When were you planning on prepping them?” He asked, looking up from the scan.

“Tonight, the patient was expecting this afternoon, but we got held up at CT.” He muttered, Daisuke nodded.

“Page me, I want to be there in case. Page Oikawa as well, this will be a three person job.” He said, handing back the scans. Haru nodded, “what? There some other reason you came?” Daisuke asked, a small smile spread across his face.

“N-nope. No other reason.” Haru said quickly, Daisuke had caught him staring. He couldn’t help but admire the other man, his blue eyes sparkling as he stared at the scans. His perfectly chizled cheekbones. The shirt he was wearing was freshly starched, he was nicely dressed for once. His whitecoat draped over the shirt, his pager at his waist. Haru’s pager began beeping, and his daydreaming was cut short. “Uh, I have to go.” He said, Daisuke nodded.

“Don’t make me wait later.” He whispered into Haru’s ear. Haru felt a shiver run up his spine. He quickly reached for the door handle, stole one last glance and Daisuke and left. Haru walked through the halls of the hospital, in his own little world. He felt more awake than normal, which felt weird to him. He was trying to figure out how he was going to remove the cancers. What order he should go in, whether or not both Kambe siblings would be in the OR. He knew about Daisuke’s skills, but he’d never seen Suzue operate before. That made his decision a bit challenging.

Haru moved through his day with ease. He hadn’t had any other surgeries, all of his time had been blocked out for the surgery later. He hadn’t seen Ryu, which had also made his day easier. Haru didn’t feel like dealing with him today. In a weird way, he almost missed Daisuke’s teasing. Almost. Was teasing the right word? Or was it flirting? Haru didn’t know.

“Haru,” Suzue said, walking up to him. “Should we get Mr. Harada prepped?” She asked, watching as the sun began to set from the large window in the middl of the hospital. He nodded, leaning against the railing.

“Let’s hope this goes well.” He muttered, “I’m having Daisuke assist as well. I’ll page Oikawa too.” He said, Suzue nodded.

“Hey, lighten up Katou. It’ll go well, don’t worry.” She smiled, he nodded. It was only natural to worry about a big case like this, but that wasn’t the only reason he felt off. His dad was deteriorating further. He didn’t know how much longer his father had. And he didn’t like the idea of being all alone. “Katou, I’m sure this will go well.” Suzue said, she smiled slightly, gave his shoulder a light squeeze and walked down the hall.


	15. Slip Up

Daisuke walked briskly out of his office, it was officially time for surgery. He felt the adrenaline that was coursing through his veins. He didn’t like being in that office, away from the action. And away from Haru. He pulled his whitecoat on a bit tighter, fiddling with his pager at his waist. He didn’t like the way his heart was pounding in his chest. Was he nervous? No, no way. This was normal, right?

Oh how wrong he was.

“Kambe,” Haru called, pulling his own coat on. “We have to go, are you presenting?” He asked as Daisuke approached.

“Yes, I think so. Do you have the chart?” He asked, Haru handed him a tablet. The patient’s information was listed, along with other notes on the side. His previous doctors, the medicine they were on. The whole thing. “Good. My upgrades were helpful.” Daisuke mumbled, scrolling through the notes.

“Are you… nervous?” Haru said, staring at Daisuke’s expressionless face. Daisuke shook his head quickly, pressing the door open. Haru sighed, deciding he was just being paranoid.

“Harada Koji,” Daisuke said, extending his hand towards the teen. “I will be one of your surgeons. You are here for the removal of your cancer. You know how risky this surgery is, correct?” Daisuke said, the young man nodded. Daisuke turned back to the other surgeons. “Harada Koji: age 17. He is here for the removal of multiple cancers in his abdomen and aorta. We will be prepping you soon.” Daisuke said, turning back to the teen. Koji nodded, his hand squeezed the sheets.

Daisuke made his way to an empty exam room, pulling out a large whiteboard. “Okay, we have to figure out the order. There are eight cancerous tumors we must remove. There is one in his cerebellum, the parents know. I don’t think they told Mr. Harada. Let’s hope that’s not our downfall.” After, Daisuke began to label the order of removal. Everyone was focused on him, they knew how important this case was.

As everyone began to file out of the room, Haru stayed. Daisuke glanced over at him, and he flinched. “What?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. “You worried or something?” He continued, making a mental note about the diagram in front of them.

“No, _stupid_ Kambe. I’m not worried, but it seems like you are.” Haru muttered, standing up to leave. Daisuke smirked, but his eyes remained emotionless.

“Whatever you say, Dr. Katou.” He said as Haru swiftly left the room. Daisuke was left alone, staring at the diagram on the board. He didn’t want to mess this up, this surgery was not anything normal. It was like an impossibly high mountain, and he was trying to climb it without his legs. He sank back down into a chair, staring at his hands. They were shaking. He was afraid, although he didn’t understand why.

Daisuke moved through his day in a daze. As the surge of people around him thinned as the day went on. He stared out the window from his office, watching the cars pass. He didn’t understand why he was nervous. He never felt nervous, he was always sure of his decisions.

…………..

The sound of the monitor resonated throughout the operating room. Everything was running smoothly, the cancers were being removed without compilation. But the tumor in the young man’s cerebellum had yet to be removed. The cerebellum was extremely important, Daisuke knew that. And he would do everything in his power to save it.

“Kambe, it’s time.” Haru’s voice sliced through his thoughts. He nodded quickly, holding his hand out for a ten blade. He felt the weight of it in his hand, his mind focused. Everything seemed to melt away again. He felt his hands moving, but he felt as though he was watching a movie. The entire surgery seemed to go by as though he wasn’t there.

He heard the beeping, the pace increasing rapidly. “Kambe! What are you doing?!” Haru’s frantic voice pulled him out of his trance. “The brain is hemorrhaging, fix it!” He yelled, Daisuke’s hands were moving faster now. He was grabbing sponge after sponge, as he stitched up the wounds. The beeping began to regulate again.

“Kambe, what were you thinking?! You could’ve done serious damage…” Haru yelled at him. He felt his back slam into the wall. And Haru’s angry expression stared up at him. “If-If that kid doesn’t wake up… I’m going to kill you myself.” Haru said, his hand grabbing Daisuke’s collar. Haru’s grip loosened, “hey, idiot. Are you even listening to me?” Haru said, his glare hardening.

Daisuke felt dizzy, and tired. He slumped against the wall. Haru’s glare softened slightly, he watched Daisuke’s eyes as they darted around the hall. “Sorry,” he muttered, Haru’s hand pinched his arm. “Ah-hey, what was that for?” Daisuke muttered, Haru’s hand dropped to his side.

“Snap out of it, idiot. I don’t know what is going on with you, but you are seriously being weird.” He said. Daisuke just nodded.

……………

“Sir, please listen-” Daisuke was pleading with Mr. Harada.

“Listen to what? It’s been a week, why hasn’t he woken up?” The man yelled back, his wife grabbed his arm.

“I- there was a complication during surgery. We don’t know why he’s not waking up. We’ll continue to run tests.” Daisuke said, his voice hollow.

As the weeks passed, Daisuke began to realize it was his mistake. Of course it wasn’t, but he couldn’t help but believe that was true. “Kambe,” Haru said, walking into his office. “The Haranda’s want to speak with you.” He said, Daisuke stood up quickly. He averted his eyes from Haru, who was glaring at him.

“Mr. Harada,” Daisuke bowed slightly, quietly entering the room.

“Dr. Kambe, will he… wake up?” The man asked, Daisuke motioned for him to sit.

“No.”

“No? B-but he’s still breathing…”

“His breathing is being aided. He’s been declared brain dead.” Daisuke said, averting his eyes from Mr. Harada’s son.

“But there’s still a chance?”

“No.” Daisuke stood up, bowing politely. “I’m sorry. Please, take as much time as you need.” He said, quietly closing the door behind him. Daisuke slumped back into his chair, head in his hands. His job was to help people, to give them a better life. That’s what Haru had told him, over and over. And he had failed.

“Kambe?” Haru pushed open his door. Daisuke looked up quickly, Haru’s patented glare on his face. “What are you doing?” He asked, his voice softened. Daisuke felt the guilt rising in his throat. He stifled a sob, putting his head back in his hands.

“I’m fine, Haru.” He muttered, a tear falling into his hands. “Go get some sleep, you’ve been here since dawn.” He said.

“Daisuke,” Haru walked closer, plopping down in a chair across from him. “This was not your fault, you know that.” He said.

“Haru,” his words caught in his throat. He didn’t want to say anymore. He couldn’t bring his head from his hands. “I failed,” his voice cracked.

“No you didn’t. You took a risk, that’s what all good surgeons do. Not everything works perfectly,” Haru sighed, he pulled Daisuke’s hand from his face. “But you tried,” he smiled softly, taking Daisuke’s hand in his own. Daisuke cracked a small, crooked smile.

“Thanks.” He muttered, Haru gave his hand a soft squeeze.


	16. “Death and all his friends”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greys Anatomy: Season 6, episode 24
> 
> I’m so sorry for this...

Mr. Harada walked into the hospital, the gun felt heavy in his pocket. He had one goal, kill Dr. Kambe. He made his way through, unnoticed. Everyone was focusing on other patients, patients that were still alive. He gripped the gun a bit tighter. He followed a young doctor through the hall, maybe an intern? He couldn’t tell.

“S-sir?” The intern turned to face him. “You can’t be in here-” He pressed the gun to the girl’s head, and pulled the trigger. She fell back, as blood pooled around her head. Mr. Harada’s shoulders shook, he had killed someone. Someone innocent. That wasn’t his plan. He stared at the gun in his hands, and shoved it back into his pocket.

Another doctor ran in, one he recognized. The man’s eyes widened, staring at the intern on the ground. “Sir! What happened?” The man asked, his voice growing louder. Mr. Harada held the gun up, cocking the gun. “Sir! Please, don’t-” the bang resonated within the supply closet. The man staggered back, his hand clutching his shoulder.

“Leave. Nothing will happen.” He said, the gun still extended. The doctor frantically shook his head, and ran. His blood left a trail. Toruu ran into the elevator, clutching his shoulder. His heart was racing, he felt the blood begin to run down his shirt.

Toruu slumped against the elevator walls, the cool metal against his back. “Iwa-chan… I’m sorry.” He muttered, his grip on the shoulder tightened. “I’m sorry.” He whimpered, his panic rising. He sent out a frantic page, shakily pressing send. The small pager at Hajime’s side began beeping. 911 to the...elevator? He wondered, staring down. Was Toruu joking? He ran through the hall, pressing the button.

“Oi, shittykawa!” He said as the doors opened. Toruu was crouched in the corner, covered in his own blood. Tears were running down his face, he was chewing on his lip. “Fuck, Oikawa. What happened?” He said, kneeling down to Toruu’s level. “Toruu, look at me.” He said. Toruu lifted his head up, surveying Hajime.

“Iwa-chan. Y-” A rush of pain cut off his words. “You came…” He tried again, Hajime pulled him into his arms. His hand craddled Toruu’s head.

“It’ll be okay, I promise. We’ll get through this, we always do. Just like old times. Just stay awake, please stay awake.” He said, Toruu’s head rested on his shoulder. “Remember? When we were kids you would always trip over nothing, and I would have to carry you home.” He said, a sad smile flashed across his face.

“Yeah, I do.” Toruu said, his tears continuing to fall. “Iwa-chan, I love you. I always have.” He mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper. His eyes began to flutter closed.

“Hey. Hey! Toruu, you don’t get to die on me! N-not today. Please.” Hajime’s voice began to crack. “Toruu, no. No! P-please… please don’t fall asleep. Not yet.” He said, his arms squeezed his limp body tighter. Hajime scooped him up into his arms, and ran out of the elevator. He ran into a supply closet, gently lying Toruu on the floor.

He cut off Toruu’s shirt, he found a scalpel and some sponges. He found some dissolvable stitches, and began to clean the wound. A gunshot? He realized, staring at the way the blood was flowing. Hajime felt the realization as it hit him. There was a gunman in the hospital. He began to patch Toruu up, and once the stitches were done. He gave him Lidocane, as well as Ibuprofen, via the mouth.

Toruu began to stir, his eyes fluttered open. He stared up at Hajime’s face, slicked with sweat. He reached up a hand, cupping Hajime’s cheek with his hand. “Hey,” he didn’t get the chance to finish, as Hajime pressed his lips on his own. Toruu felt tears running down his cheeks. Hajime wrapped his arm around Toruu’s back and held his head with his other hand. He sniffed, his shoulders shaking.

“I thought you were going to die. Don’t ever scare me like that again.” He mumbled.

“Iwa-chan, are you crying?” He asked, Hajime just gripped him tighter.

……………

Kamei made his way through the hall, his day had been dismal with a spash of pathetic. Haru slid up next to him. They didn’t say anything, just enjoyed each other’s presence. Haru saw a familiar face approaching him, “Mr. Harada?” He asked, the man looked up at him.

“Ah-yes. Do you know where chief Kambe is?” He asked, averting his eyes. Kamei answered.

“He should be in his office,” the man nodded, the two exchanged a look.

……………..

Daisuke was sitting in his office when his pager went off. Just a normal consult, it was just a normal day. He grabbed his white coat, running his finger over the embroidery of his name. He wore that name like a badge of pride. Pride that he hadn’t followed in his father's footsteps. That he was doing what he loved. And that’s what mattered.

He closed the door quickly, almost excited to get back to work. He walked out, onto the bride in between wards. He leaned against the balcony, watching the flow of people below. The sun was high in the sky, the sky itself was a clear blue.

“Dr. Kambe,” Daisuke’s head turned towards the familiar voice. His eyes widened, as he faced Mr. Harada.

“Mr. Harada?” Daisuke’s voice was quizical, maybe a bit taken back. “What brings you here?” He asked, standing up a bit straighter.

“Oh, don’t act like you don’t know. I’m here for you.” He said, his hand gripped the gun in his pocket. “You’re the reason I can’t move on. _You_. You caused all of this.” He said, his voice dripped with hatred. Haru walked out the door, and saw the back of Mr. Harada. He stared over at Daisuke, who appeared to be having a conversation with him. Kamei pulled him to the side, out of their field of view.

“I-I’m sorry? I don’t quite understand.” Daisuke stuttered, a sense of fear growing.

“You killed him. You killed my son. He was fine! And you killed him.” The man raised his voice, Daisuke heard the metallic sound of a gun being cocked. The man pulled his right hand from his pocket, the barrel of the gun pointed towards Daisuke.

“Daisuke! Dai-” Haru’s screams were muffled by Kamei’s hand. His other arm was roughly holding him back.

“Stop. You might make it worse.” Kamei whispered, Haru continued to squirm in his grasp.

“M-Mr. Harada, please think through this carefully.” He said, raising his hands up reflexively. The man was ignoring him, his hand shook.

“Shut up.”

“Please.”

“Shut up! Shut up!” He clenched the trigger. The two loud bangs resonated throughout the hospital. Daisuke stumbled back as pain burned through his chest. He felt warm liquid begin to fill his hands. He coughed, tasting blood. Mr. Harada cracked a psychotic smile. “I’m walking out of here, don’t try to stop me.” He said, leaving the gun on the floor. Daisuke was trying to stop the bleeding, but he couldn’t.

Haru broke from Kamei’s grasp, running towards Daisuke. “Daisuke!” He screamed, getting closer. In a flash, his arms were around Daisuke, as his legs gave out. “Daisuke! We need to get you to an OR. Please try not to fall asleep yet! Please!” He said, lowering Daisuke to the ground. His blood began to pool, his whitecoat stained red. Haru’s words sounded far away, as though he was underwater. All he could hear was his own heartbeat. As it began to fade.

“Hey,” he panted out in between broken breaths. “Hey, calm.” He said, pushing the words out. Haru’s hands were pressing on the wound, and he whimpered as pain shot through his body. Haru felt hot tears running down his cheeks.

“How can I be calm? Y-you’re bleeding out in my arms. D-don’t tell me to be calm.” Haru’s words were breaking. “Daisuke, y-you better pray to god, if you die...I-I’ll kill you myself. I-I can’t...why won’t it stop?” He was breaking down, his arms shaking.

“Haru,” Daisuke broke through his panic. He reached a shakely, blood covered hand up. Brushing a tear away from Haru’s cheek. “I love you.” His hand slipped, the pain was taking over. He couldn’t hear Haru anymore, his voice was far away again.

“Daisuke! Fuck, don’t you dare! D-don’t...please!” Haru was sobbing now, his tears landing on Daisuke’s pale face. Haru lifted Daisuke’s limp body into his arms. Kamei was rushing to open the door. “We have to get him to the OR! O-or he might not make it…” Haru said through his tears. He ran down the hall, gripping Daisuke tightly.

“Haru?” Hajime said, his voice filled with alarm. “What the-” he stopped, Toruu was leaning against him.

“I-h-he got shot...I-I don’t have time to explain.” He said, making his way to the closest OR. The others were following. Kamei swung the door open, as Haru frantically rushed in. “God damnit… if you fucking die on me, Daisuke. I-I’ll kill you.” He cried.

…………

Haru was working frantically, the bleeding was finally stopping. Toruu was slumped in a chair, while Hajime and Kamei worked alongside him. “Haru, you don’t have to operate.” Hajime said, watching his friend frantically try to ignore who he was operating on.

“I-I just need to patch him up-” the door opened. Mr. Harada stood in the doorway, another gun in his hand.

“Step away. Or everyone dies.” He said, Haru ignored him, continuing to work. “Step away, Dr.” He said again, Haru felt the barrel of the gun press into his back. He heard the high pitched sound of the monitor flatline. His breath caught in his throat. “ _Goodbye_ , Dr. Kambe.” The man said, the gun no longer on Haru’s back. He left the room, the door shutting behind him.

Haru sank to his knees, the scalpel in his hand clattering to the floor. “No…” He mumbled, the word barely audible. “No. No, no, no! No!” He punched the ground, the sound made a dull thud. “No! Daisuke… please tell me this is fake! Please!” He said, hearing the familiar _plip_ of his tears on the linoleum. He stared at his gloved hands, covered in blood. As tears began to run down his cheeks, as his breath caught in his throat.

“Haru. He’s not dead.” Kamei said, kneeling down next to him. “We took off the monitor, so that man would think he was. He’s alive.” Kamei continued, Haru released the breath that he was holding.

“H-he’s not d-dead?” Kamei shook his head. The beeping returned. Haru turned to his friend, sobbing into his shoulder. “I-I can’t do this.” He sobbed, “not again.” Haru’s panicked breathing began to regulate. “H-he’ll survive this, r-right?” He asked, reassuring himself. Kamei nodded, Haru released his death grip on his friend’s sleeve. “Okay.”


	17. “With you i’m born again”

Haru couldn’t bring himself to enter the room. Suzue was already in there, and he felt as though he was intruding on something. His hands felt cold, and his right hand hadn’t stopped shaking. Mr. Harada had been apprehended by the same cop he’d saved months prior, but he couldn’t even look the man in the eye. It had been ten hours since Mr. Harada had been taken into custody, but Daisuke wasn’t awake.

Suzue walked past him, stopped, and stood in front of him. “Haru,” she crouched, pulling his shaking hand into her own. “He’s okay, I promise. You did a great job.” She gave him a soft smile, her hand was warm. Unlike his own, it was comforting. Haru just nodded, the sparkle in his gold eyes was gone.

“I’m sorry.” He said, Suzue’s warm hand squeezed his own. He looked up, her blue eyes studying him.

“Haru,” she let go of his hand, standing back up. “You should go sit with him. I can tell you want to.” She smiled, he just nodded. His knee cracked as he stood up, and he stretched. His head felt stuffy, and his eyes stung from crying. The sleeves on his brown coat were rolled up, and he had changed out of his scrubs.

He quietly slid the door open to Daisuke’s room. In any other case, the machines that were beeping and whirring wouldn’t have scared him. But in this case, he was terrified.

Haru plopped into a small chair next to the bed. Daisuke looked smaller than normal. His porcelain skin was more pale, his face was relaxed. Haru reached out, tentatively grabbing Daisuke’s hand in his own. “I love you, you idiot. S-so you don’t just get to lie here. Got it?” Haru said, gripping his hand tighter. “So wake up. Please.” Haru mumbled, placing his hand under his head. He didn’t want to fall asleep, so he kept his eyes on Daisuke’s face.

Haru didn’t know how long it had been. He had been staring at the wall, unable to bring himself to sleep. His eyes were glazed over, and when he blinked it stung. His left arm was numb, his right hand was still clenching Daisuke’s. He almost didn’t believe it, as Daisuke’s hand squeezed his own.

Daisuke’s eyes opened slowly towards the light above him. He took a deep breath, a dull pain spread through his chest. He felt a pressure on his hand, and instinctively squeezed back. The hand flinched slightly, then relaxed. His eyes focused on the crumpled man sitting next to him. Haru’s taupe colored hair was messy, his head was lying on his left arm. His right hand was gripping Daisuke’s tightly.

“Haru?” He watched as the ball of taupe colored hair rose from the slumped position on the bed. He heard a small sniffle from his partner, watching tears line those glassy golden eyes. They truly worked like partners, like how the brain relied on the heart. The brain sends messages through neurons that tell the heart to pump blood, and in turn, the heart replenishes the brain with oxygen through red blood cells. That was one of the first things he had learned in biology, and it stuck with him.

Haru’s right hand began to shake in his grasp. He didn’t want it to be a dream. Since everyone else he knew seemed to disappear when he woke up. Daisuke gave his hand two squeezes, and he knew he was awake. He felt the first tear roll down his cheek, slowly, almost deliberately. He felt it drip of his chin, landing on the brown coat he was wearing.

“Hey,” Daisuke reached out his other hand, brushing the tear away. “Don’t cry.” He smiled softly, his thumb caressing Haru’s cheek. Haru felt another tear roll down his cheek. And Daisuke’s words seemed to break whatever was holding it all in. His words caught in his throat, and all that came out was a squeak. “Haru, it’s alright.” Daisuke said, his blue eyes shining in the evening light.

“I-” Haru stopped, hanging his head as his tears fell. Daisuke’s hand lifted Haru’s face back up to face his own. “I was so worried, you idiot.” He muttered, Daisuke’s thumb brushing at another tear. Daisuke reached out, pulling Haru’s head towards his chest. He felt tears on his shoulder, and Haru’s shoulders began to shake as he sobbed. Daisuke released Haru’s hand, wrapping his arms around his lower back.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you. I’m okay, I promise.” He whispered, Haru nuzzled his shoulder. His sobs quietly died down into sniffles. Haru wrapped his arms around the small of Daisuke’s back.

“I-I’m sorry, does it hurt?” He whispered into Daisuke’s chest.

“No, I promise I’m fine.” He said, rubbing Haru’s back rhythmically. Haru’s breath evened out, and he relaxed.

“God you scared me.” He mumbled, listening to Daisuke’s heartbeat, counting each beat.

“I’m sorry-”

“I love you.” Haru gripped the fabric of Daisuke’s shirt tighter. A new wave of tears began to fall, and his body shuddered. “I love you so fucking much. A-and I thought you were going to die.” He sobbed. Daisuke felt his arms instictively tighten. He kissed Haru’s forehead.

“I know. I love you too.” He felt Haru’s sobs die down once again. His chest rose and fell against Daisuke’s own. “Go to sleep, I can’t tell you haven’t.” He said, playing with Haru’s hair.

“Oh shut up, Dai.” Haru muttered, closing his eyes. Sleep came easily, Daisuke’s arms comforting him. He was content to fall asleep listening to Daisuke’s heartbeat. Daisuke focused his eyes on his sister as she slid the door open.

“You’re awake, good.” She smiled, leaning against the wall. Daisuke surveyed her, her hair wasn’t in its usual bun, instead it was down. Her nose was slightly red, and she wasn’t wearing her scrubs either.

“Did you get the day off or something?” He asked, “shouldn’t you be taking over my service?” He added, she sighed.

“Those of us that were involved with the Harada case were given the week off.” She said, shaking her head.

“Did anyone else get hurt?” He said, fidgeting with Haru’s hair. She nodded, averting her eyes. “Did you have HEUSC send double the amount as compensation?” She nodded again.

“I have to go to another board meeting. They know you won’t be joining us.” She said, “take care of him.” She added, glancing at Haru. He nodded, she gave him another smile and slid the door closed. The door slid back open a minute later, and Hajime and Toruu stood in the doorway. His eyes focused on the sling on Toruu’s left arm.

“Hey, you didn’t die on us.” Toruu said, cracking a small smile. Hajime was quiet, his eyes flicking back and forth between Daisuke and Haru.

“Daisuke, how much did Haru tell you? What do you remember?” He said, sitting in one of the two chairs. Toruu plopped down in the other.

“Not much, sorry. I-I remember getting paged, and then he showed up. Everything else is kind of fuzzy to me.” He said, unable to meet Hajime’s gaze.

“No, that’s normal. You lost a lot of blood. Good thing Haru got you into an OR when he did.” Toruu interjected, Hajime held up a hand. Stopping him from saying anything further.

“Wait. Haru did _what_?” Daisuke’s voice grew slightly louder.

“He had to operate on you.” Hajime said, his voice was quiet. “He was interrupted by _him_ in the middle of it.”

“We had to take off your monitor. Haru thought he killed you.” Toruu said, softening his voice. He usually delivered encouragement to Daisuke. In this case, having him say it softened the blow.

“It…” Hajime took a sharp inhale, “it was pretty traumatic. At least you woke up when you did. He refused to sleep at all.” Hajime added, his hand gripping Toruu’s.

“I told him I would aways be there.” Daisuke mumbled. “And I was wrong.” He added, pulling Haru closer to him. He had a sad smile on his face, as he felt Haru’s chest rise and fall against his own. “I-I’m sorry.” He stuttered, “you got hurt too because I was careless during a surgery.” He said, looking back over at Toruu.

“I’m fine, I promise.” Toruu said, his voice was cheerful again. “You should really be apologizing to Iwa-chan. I think you and I collectively scared him half to death.” He laughed, Hajime reddened with embarrassment.

“That- whatever.” He muttered, “glad you’re okay.” He said. The two stood up, fingers intertwined. Daisuke smiled to himself slightly, despite the circumstances. After they left, Daisuke went back to stroking Haru’s hair. He didn’t understand why it had happened. People die, that’s a part of life. But somehow this man decided that killing him would even out the playing field? Daisuke couldn’t comprehend it.

The door slid open, and Ryu stood, glaring angrily at him. “Hey, Kambe. We need to talk.” He said, shutting the door. Daisuke didn’t say anything, just nodded slightly. His purple eyes were filled with rage, but softened as he glanced down at Haru. “You fucking scared him. I’ve never seen him look that deflated before. If you _ever_ scare him like that again I swear-”

“I understand. I’m sorry.” Daisuke said, cutting him off. Ryu stopped, crossing his arms.

“Well whatever, I just wanted to make sure he was finally sleeping. I don’t really care about you.” He muttered, the glare on his face less full of hatred.

“So does this mean you’re done with your pursuit?” Daisuke asked, raising an eyebrow. Ryu let out a short, sarcastic laugh.

“Yeah, yeah I’m leaving. I found a replacement already, Dr. Ushijima. He starts monday. And we had to replace the OBGYN as well, for...other reasons. Dr. Tendou will be starting as well. Try not to scare them off, or get anyone else killed.” He said.

“How many?” Daisuke asked.

“How many what? How many people died? One, an intern. Three others were injured, not including you and Toruu.” He said. “The press is having a field day, your sister is trying to keep it under control.” Ryu added, opening the door to leave.

“Goodbye, Dr. Hoshino.” Daisuke said when the door shut. Daisuke had so many questions. Questions he couldn’t bear to ask Haru about. He shut his eyes, once again letting sleep pull him away from a sobering reality.


	18. Reassurance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so this is the ending....

“No you cannot go back to surgery yet.” Haru said, folding his arms. “I won’t allow it.” He added, sticking his nose up.

“Well, what would you like me to do? I’m being discharged, it’s been five days.” Daisuke said, Haru sighed.

“I’m taking you home, Suzue insists as well. You can’t go back into the OR yet. You aren’t fully healed.” Haru stated matter of factly.

“You’re taking me to my apartment, right?” He asked, the door slid open.

“No, you are going _home_. Back to the mansion.” Suzue said, leaning against the far wall in the room.

“But-”

“No buts. You are going home to rest. Understand me?” She said, arms crossed. She seemed quite a bit taller than him, maybe even more mature.

“Fine. But you know he’ll come bother me.” Daisuke muttered, Suzue shook her head.

“Father is back in England, it won’t be an issue. So will you allow Dr. Katou to take you home?” She said, he nodded. “Good.” She slid the door back open, nodding to Haru.

“Are you really going to make me stay on bedrest?” Daisuke asked, raising an eyebrow. Haru nodded, arms still crossed. “So you volunteered to take care of me?” Daisuke asked, Haru nodded again. “You know I can handle myself.” He added, fiddling with the IV on his hand.

“I doubt you can even make instant ramen.” Haru muttered, “so yeah, I have to make sure you don’t die.” He added, letting out a short laugh.

“So you do care,” Daisuke smirked, watching Haru redden slightly.

“Whatever, come on. Let’s go.” He added, standing up. He held out a hand, and Daisuke took it. His legs felt slightly numb, and there was still a dull ache in his chest. “Can you...walk?” Haru asked, surveying him.

“Yeah, my legs are just slightly numb. I’m fine, Haru.” He said, feeling Haru’s grip on his hand tighten. He slid into the passenger seat of Haru’s white Toyota. Haru wasn’t saying anything, his lips were pursed together. “Wait. How do you know where you’re going?” He asked as they got on the freeway.

“Suzue.” He said, staring out at the vast expanse of highway.

“Are you mad at me or something?” He asked, glancing over at him.

“No.” So that’s a lie. Something was definitely up. Daisuke closed his eyes, he was tired and sore. He just wanted to sleep.

………….

Daisuke woke up hours later, propped up by pillows. He recognized the room immediately as his master bedroom. Had Haru been there before? He didn’t think so, so maybe one of his butlers guided them? The man in question was nowhere to be found, but his brown jacket was on one of the leather chairs at the other end of the room. He slipped out of bed, walking over to the chair. He grabbed the jacket, hugging it around his shoulders. Daisuke fell asleep once again, the jacket still comforting him.

Haru walked back in, a bowl of soup in his hands. He stopped, staring at Daisuke. The jacket he had left was around his boyfriend’s shoulders. Wait? Boyfriend? That’s what Haru had decided. He set the soup on a bedside table and sat down on the bed next to Daisuke. He slipped underneath the covers, curling up next to him. The scent of Daisuke’s expensive cologne mixed with the freshness of the bedsheets was intoxicating. He fell asleep, his head resting on Daisuke’s shoulder.

Daisuke woke up feeling refreshed for once. He glanced down at Haru, who was asleep next to him. His arm around Daisuke’s waist, his other hand was gripping Daisuke’s as well. “Haru?” Haru shook his head.

“Five more minutes.” He mumbled, his cheek resting on Daisuke’s chest. Daisuke smiled to himself, playing with Haru’s hair.

“Okay, five more minutes. Then we should have dinner.” He said, grabbing his computer from the table next to him. He looked at the news, thankfully the shooting wasn’t still a top headline by then. But it had caused Suzue quite a bit of strife. Reporters flooding the hospital, asking to speak with him. He had been the acting chief of surgery afterall. He rifled through the articles, some from larger publishers, some small.

“Leave it to the Kambe’s to pay off their problems.” One wrote, followed by, “even if Dr. Kambe messed up, he won’t lose his license because he was shot, right? What a world we live in.” Daisuke felt anger growing from the pit of his stomach. This was not his fault, he knew that. Anyone who worked at Tokyo General knew that, so why? Why did it hurt him so much to read the quotes?

“Hey, what are you doing?” Haru said, his eyes trained on the screen. Daisuke didn’t say anything, his eyes flicking across the articles. “Hey, don’t read it.” Haru said a bit louder, closing the laptop. Daisuke’s cool gaze focused on him.

“Why not? Aren’t they right? I paid double the damages. I solved my problems with money, just like usual.” He said, his voice hardening on the last sentence. Haru stiffened, sitting up.

“No. They are wrong, they weren’t there. They don’t understand the circumstances.” He said. Daisuke shook his head, his grip on the computer tightening.

“No, they are right. I messed up, it’s all my fault. I should lose my license. I-” the emotions he had been trying to suppress were taking over. “I killed their son! I did. Me. No one else...i-it was my fault.” He said, hanging his head.

“That is not true!” Haru yelled, he didn’t know how to deal with emotions. And Daisuke was the last person he expected to break down in front of him. “You know it’s not! Dai stop saying that.” He said, watching as Daisuke slowly lifted his gaze from the charcoal sheets.

“I-it’s not?” He said, his voice was quiet.

“No, of course not.”

“I thought you were mad at me. Remember, you said if I messed up...and I did. And I caused you more trouble.” He was rambling now. “I promised I would be there, that you wouldn’t have to deal with this again. And I failed… I failed you, I failed them, and Toruu. I failed everyone, I’m a failure.” His words were beginning to crack. “Maybe he was right, I wasn’t cut out to be a doctor. I should’ve just gone to business school, and lived my terrible painted life. The life I was supposed to live. But no, I didn’t want to follow him. And then Suzue didn’t, and that’s why-”

“Daisuke stop it!” Haru said, cutting off his words. “Stop it. Stop. You’ve worked so hard, everyone knows that. You were under pressure, this was a big case. And we can’t save everyone, you know that. You are not a failure.” He said, cupping Daisuke’s face with his hands.

“I-I’m not?” He felt tears welling up in his eyes. The words were barely audible.

“No.” Haru said, wrapping his arms around Daisuke. “No. You are amazing.” He said, Daisuke sniffed. Haru cradled the back of Daisuke’s head with one hand, the other was around the small of his back.

“I’m sorry.” Daisuke muttered into Haru’s chest. His tears dripped down his face, onto Haru’s white shirt.

“Stop apologizing, please. It’s not your fault. You don’t need to apologize, Dai. It’s okay now.” He said, kissing Daisuke’s forehead. He lifted Daisuke’s face from his shirt, planting a kiss on each cheek.

“Sorry.”

“Dai, stop it. All you’ve done is apologize.” His voice was soft, his eyes locking with Daisuke’s cobalt blue ones. Haru pressed his lips to Daisuke’s, his hand cupped his cheek. Daisuke’s hands ran through his hair. They fell back against the pillows, tongues intertwined. Not saying anything. They didn’t need to.

When they pulled away, Haru was holding Daisuke in his arms. His face was in Haru’s chest. “I love you.” He said, Haru gave him a quick squeeze.

“I love you too.” That was all the reassurance he needed. Daisuke closed his eyes, slipping back out of consciousness.


End file.
